Hostility

[Cinjin]

(Unsure of proper forum location for this thread)


Recently, I was reading a certain hostile email that was written in response to what the author perceived was an unsolicited email (spam). The author, we'll call him, William H. Asshat, was clearly in a volatile place when he wrote the response, and seemed to be completely irrational.

It made me think.

Clearly this individual needs to get control of his emotions, but is he like this all the time? Will he regret this outburst of raw emotion the next day when he re-reads his email or receives a well-thought rational response to his massive over-reaction? Was his hostility ignited by the subject of the perceived "spam" or is it simply a result of his own perceptions of a life perceived to be unfair.

I ask these rhetorical questions because I sometimes find myself losing my grip and giving into hostility. Several times on these forums I have gone back through my posts the following day and thought to myself, "god damnit ... clearly I let myself get emotionally worked up by another member and now I look just like Mr. William H. Asshat!" Than I end up hoping that no one noticed ---- but of course, everybody did.

It's true, people in general do bug the shit outta me and I certainly don't mind using superlatives to express this fact. Religion fascinates and infuriates me, and although I have gotten significantly better at controlling my hostility, it still manages to get the best of me once in awhile. In real life -- hardly ever ... but on this forum, I have found it's easy to let your fingers run wild - throwing out, what seems at the moment of anger, a good quip and a stinging insult ... only to feel completely embarrassed by it the next day.

Perhaps this is only me. Maybe no one else has this problem, but I do not want to be William H. Asshat, even if it is for only a moment.

I think there is definitely a time and a place for anger ... it's the uncontrolled hostility that I do not want.

[Shell B]

I find myself losing my cool and am uncomfortable with it later too, Cinjin. You're right. There is a time and a place for anger -- when you're feeling it, wherever you're feeling it. That is just how it goes. For me, I am most often able to control it and it only amounts to a "Fuck, why are you being obtuse?" or a "If this thing doesn't start working right, I'm taking an ax to it." I'm rarely mad for long and am quick to apologize, though mostly for selfish reasons. I don't think you should get down on yourself too much about it.

[Violet]

The only anger I experience for long periods of time is envy anger... that is anger from envy.

And wouldn't you be enviously angry too if you didn't have the genitals you need?

[Faith No More]

Perhaps when you read a post that really pisses you off, take a break and reply to it later when your head is cooler.

[Violet]

Perhaps when you read a post that really pisses you off, take a break and reply to it later when your head is cooler.

I've tried this before: it just pisses you off twice.

[Faith No More]

I've tried this before: it just pisses you off twice.

Maybe you should try anger management then. Or if that doesn't work, after you read a post that pisses you off, pop a Xanax and smoke a bowl. If that doesn't work, then I fear there is no hope for you.

[Violet]

Anger management works like this: Have I had enough fun that being pissed off that much won't turn me into a psychotic evil angry person? The system usually works for me

No thanks, if it takes drugs to calm me down then there's something serious I need to fix in the first place

[Faith No More]

No thanks, if it takes drugs to calm me down then there's something serious I need to fix in the first place

Oh I know. I'm just trying to give you a volid excuse to take some good drugs.

[Violet]

Who needs an "excuse" to take drugs?

I know I don't ^_^

[Kayenneh]

I have had a problem with my temper ever since I was a kid. Until I met my boyfriend I had a hard time keeping my anger in check. He said that he wouldn't tolerate such manners. It was a long and hard way, but nowadays I don't get angry like that anymore, and it is a relief. I was always ashamed of my outbursts, and it didn't help that I knew that I overreacted many times. This is an example of the few times love can make someone's faults go away, but only because I realized the problem myself and was willing to work on it.