Can I just say, and I'm just being honest...

[Joods]

CIJS,

OK, granny, you've admitted you have a problem.  Hubby died, and a year later expenses are eating you alive.  Well, you have a large house, you're alone now, how about taking in some boarders ??

"Oh hell no !!!"

OK, you have a separate mobile home, it was formerly rented out, how about renting it out now?

"Oh, hubby did all the maintenance, I don't want to be bothered"

OK, you have 3 vehicles, how about selling the one with the stick you can't drive anyhow?

"Oh, no!! that was hubby's !!!"

OK, how about selling the house and living in an apartment??

"Oh hell no !!!"

OK, how about cutting down on the casino visits and the cigarette smoking?

"Oh hell no !!!"

OK, how about not dumping anymore money on your meth head son, or your idiot daughter who married a meth head?

"Oh, hell no!!"

So, what are we looking at?  You're going to lose the house and the trailer for not paying property taxes?

"YES!!!"

Well, it sounds like you're fucked.  I've got a grain bin you can live in when they evict you.

"GO TO HELL!!  YOU HATE ME !!!

Sounds like the typical teenager response when you present them with options for something because they are too lazy to learn how to problem solve on their own. 

Granny needs a visit from the school of hard knocks from the sounds of it.

[vorlon13]

I'm sure you can get a similar dialog if you engaged her ding dong daughter if you gave her all the options she has for turning her nightmare dead end life around.

I bet she has an objection to every single practical idea for getting away from her doper husband and the rat hole she is living in.

[Joods]

CIJS:

1. I fucked up my knee and I'm not sure how I did that.
2. Out of over 5000 posts in this thread alone, I did not expect to be in the number 2 spot for most posts here. :|

[Silver]

CIJS:

2. Out of over 5000 posts in this thread alone, I did not expect to be in the number 2 spot for most posts here. :|

Where do you see those stats?

[Joods]

CIJS:

2. Out of over 5000 posts in this thread alone, I did not expect to be in the number 2 spot for most posts here. :|

Where do you see those stats?

Under either the "my posts" link or the "today's post link" you will get a list. Click on the relevant number under the "replies" column and there you go. See below:

[Silver]

Under either the "my posts" link or the "today's post link" you will get a list. Click on the relevant number under the "replies" column and there you go. See below:

---

---

That's so cool. I learned something new.

Thanks.

[Joods]

Under either the "my posts" link or the "today's post link" you will get a list. Click on the relevant number under the "replies" column and there you go. See below:

---

---

That's so cool.  I learned something new.

Thanks.  

[Edwardo Piet]

(Cracks fingers, gets ready for rant)
CIJ fucking say?
( TLDR )
So much.

---

Tonight is not a night for normalcy. I sat in my car in the darkness and watched her walk to her door. I’ve been told before that it’s a bit creepy that I always wait until a person walks in their home, but I always wonder... what if I leave and some bad guy like in the movies just snatches her? Well, I waited. Once she was inside it took me a minute to realize I was alone and I could say my remarks out loud as I made my way to the bar for only one beer. Just one.
“You did the right thing.”
“Fuck it.”
“I’m proud of us.”
“Never again. Young people suck.”
And then I laughed by myself.
I get my own jokes. I spend a lot of time with me. I make my way through life driving on those beige roads on my own, sitting at those familiar and stranger bars by myself, laying in my bed by myself. I wonder what it would be like if people could see what I’m thinking. What if there was a bubble over my head and you could read my thoughts in it.
“Hanneeeeeh, I’d follow that booty around all night long.”
“Shut the fuck up, you ignorant fool.”
“I want to hug you, but I’m worried you might have lice.”
“I miss you.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I want to reach out, but I can’t.”

I stayed in my car outside the bar. I didn’t get off. I didn’t have that beer. I just sat there, orange wig on the seat next to me... and my head hosting a thunderstorm up in there just going crazy.

I’m not a robot. I have feelings. I’m not that. Yeah, I’m cautious and I protect myself and others, but is being reasonable such a bad thing? Is being pragmatic evil? Is it wrong that I consider all outcomes before taking a next step? I don’t think so, yo. Maybe I miss out on a lot, but I also prevent chaos a lot. Pain. Regret.

I know what it feels like to want something so badly that it hurts to say its name. I know what it’s like to watch it slip between your fingers ready to fly away when you thought you had everything figured out. I know what it’s like to look at a face and know that there is nothing more beautiful, more serenely majestic, more heartmelting than this... yet know you can’t have it, and have to let it go. Whether they ever know how much it hurt and everything you killed inside yourself to master it... it doesn’t matter. The feeling of loneliness and heartbreak smells like shampoo and it lingers. It lingers.

I’m not a robot creature because I want to make sure I don’t cause this in others, or myself again. I’m just a cautious idiot that wrote a book and doesn’t stray from it. When a slip seems to begin to happen, I hault.

Hault. U-haul. I didn’t do it. I was gonna. I could have. It was a good deal. I love driving, anyway. But... I’m good at haulting. I knew what was at the other side. Let me explain something to you, because I don’t think you understand. I see it from here and it’s so much. It’s perfectly balanced with the right amount of sugar and the right amount of salt. So appealing. So smooth and so sharp. From the top to the bottom... from the core to the surface, it’s glamorous. Ridiculous. Mischievous. Soulful. Sweet. But when I thought for a second about all the possible outcomes, one outcome helped me come to a hault. My heart beat way too strong. Fuck. What the fuck was that? Nope. Pulled out.

It’s fine. I got it now. It’s all good. It was just a concern. But see, that’s the beauty of prevention. Maybe then it was a bad idea, so good thing I stopped when I did. Right? I had time to remind myself of all the angles and boom. Everything is ok. All the pieces on the right shelf. I can enjoy them all as I make sure I don’t mix them together. Like a boss. If that bubble was over my head, you’d be reading, “Mmmmmm chiquiiiiiiiiiis!” All the fucken time. Lol

Sigh. I have skin. I have scars. I have a particular way of walking and I have a very me voice. Not a robot. But then... what if...

What if I should just let go of all this reasoning shit for once and see what happens with this other thing. There’s the baby situation, but so what? What if I just shrugged it off and went with the idea of catching feelings? See... it would probably be badass. But... baby... then doom... then end of everything. Eff.

So here we are again... alone in my bed... and it all makes sense. I’m too woke for this shit, and I finally found a reason to use the word woke.

---

Goodnight.

CIJS, Ivy, I love your posts and the way you think and talk.

[Little lunch]

Me too and I'm fairly sure I'd love the way you walk as well.

[brewer]

CIJS,

---

OK, granny, you've admitted you have a problem.  Hubby died, and a year later expenses are eating you alive.  Well, you have a large house, you're alone now, how about taking in some boarders ??

"Oh hell no !!!"

OK, you have a separate mobile home, it was formerly rented out, how about renting it out now?

"Oh, hubby did all the maintenance, I don't want to be bothered"

OK, you have 3 vehicles, how about selling the one with the stick you can't drive anyhow?

"Oh, no!! that was hubby's !!!"

OK, how about selling the house and living in an apartment??

"Oh hell no !!!"

OK, how about cutting down on the casino visits and the cigarette smoking?

"Oh hell no !!!"

OK, how about not dumping anymore money on your meth head son, or your idiot daughter who married a meth head?

"Oh, hell no!!"

So, what are we looking at?  You're going to lose the house and the trailer for not paying property taxes?

"YES!!!"

Well, it sounds like you're fucked.  I've got a grain bin you can live in when they evict you.

"GO TO HELL!!  YOU HATE ME !!!

---

[/hide]

Let me know when it comes up for tax sale/auction. I might be interested.