Autism Spectrum Disorder

[ignoramus]

Hammy, do you think religion is one big scam? Yes? Sorry, nothing wrong with your brain... Go get a job...now!

[J a c k]

Hammy, do you think religion is one big scam? Yes? Sorry, nothing wrong with your brain... Go get a job...now!

It doesn’t work that way.

Hammy, listen to your professionals. They know best. I’m happy you got answers! When my son was diagnosed, it was a relief to finally know. We love you, hamz!

[mlmooney89]

That's it I guess. I've probably rambled too much already. I'm sorry if this is all TL;DR.

It wasn't too long my love, you have every right to be happy and expressive about this. I am truly so happy for you and even more so proud of you for getting these answers and helping yourself. You are a very sweet, caring, smart man and I think now you will be able to feel better about yourself.

[Rev. Rye]

I have this theory that most people with autism are exceptional, in the gifted sense.

At the candy store where I work, there used to be other volunteers on the autism spectrum, and many were on the lower-functioning end of the scale. One girl in particular mostly just paced around humming, not any songs, often just one sustained note, stopped only by occasional speech, unusually since she never moved her lips when she talked. There’s a reason there’s so much talk about the autism spectrum, because there’s a vast variety of autistic types, from physicists who make deep contributions to physics that rival Einstein but can’t be bothered to understand how the world of people works (Paul Dirac, for those of you who don’t know), and then, there’s the types of people Autism Speaks bring out to treat it like it’s a horrible disease that may or may not happen because of vaccines. Naturally, there’s a shitload of inbetween.

[c172]

Long post, but very engaging. It's an important time in your life and one that will lead to more learning about yourself and those around you, I'd think. Hopefully a weight is lifted.

I remember my mother saying I was tested for it as a wee little kid (not sure how one tests for that). But it would up not being the case. As somebody with spina bifida (which has nothing to do with autism spectrum), I am subject to certain social discrepancies that might have somehow mimicked something in autism.

Anyhow, I'm glad to see this post and hope it helps to have posted.

[Edwardo Piet]

Hammy, do you think religion is one big scam? Yes? Sorry, nothing wrong with your brain... Go get a job...now!

It doesn’t work that way.

Hammy, listen to your professionals. They know best. I’m happy you got answers! When my son was diagnosed, it was a relief to finally know. We love you, hamz!

You're making me all bashful hehe. Love ya too.

Yes, the professionals are being very patient and gentle with me. And it doesn't feel condescending at all! It feels cosy hehe. It feels like I'm NOT being nagged at... which is nice!

They're exchanging emails with me and have already contacted a support worker but told them that I need to be prepared first. And I do. But I'm excited hehe. The support worker is going to meet up with me somewhere nearby in my local area as I don't feel comfortable meeting people I don't know in my home. My home just feels like my safe space. Not like a repugnant anti-free speech safe space that I always complain about.... not one of those ideas of "Here is a place where you can be where no one will say mean things to you" YUCK. No. I mean like a literal physical space where I feel like no one is gonna be there to watch me do stuff. Yes in that sense as well. Of course I wouldn't mind if they were hot but that's another topic....

ANYWAY. Perhaps I should say comfort zone. I'm trying to come out of my comfort zone but at least now I know why my comfort zone is so small and I tend to have a breakdown when I try to break out of it so quickly. It's not because I'm lazy or damaged or blah blah blah.... it's not even pure social anxiety or lack of confidence. I've always struggled to develop my comfort zone because I have a developmental disorder. It all makes sense now. So now the professionals can help me pace myself properly. I always found that whenever I tried to move at the same speed as everyone else I'd have a breakdown and end up in hospital. Since I learned that I have to be careful I've avoided many stressors and stayed home a lot. At least that has been an OPTION for the last two years because I've lived alone so I don't have anyone I live with making me do stuff before I'm ready or telling me what to do when I don't feel ready.

So I'm right to avoid things that overwhelm me but I still want to move out to my comfort zone eventually. I've been here feeling like I'd be stuck forever at this rate but at least happy that I'm no longer ending up in hospital and getting ill. And at least I can take things one step at a time even if my life isn't really going anywhere. At least I can COPE.

But, I really do want to progress. And I feel like I will now. I can go at a pace that the professionals judge is right for me, rather than wondering why I can't keep up with anyone else without getting unwell, or without isolating myself completely forever.

But I also have to understand that even when I progress, I shouldn't expect myself to reach the level of everyone else if I am a little different. If I have a developmental disorder, then I shouldn't be so hard on myself when I struggle to develop. The important thing is to be safe, healthy and happy.

Another thing is... being social is important for my health. But I don't need to worry so much about if it's healthy for me to enjoy spending so much time alone because that's rather normal for autism. I should get out there and make friends and meet people, and I will. But needing so much time alone afterwards to cool off when most people would consider it excessive, may be abnormal for most people.... but it's normal for me. And if I feel fine and not depressed (another thing is my emotions are a lot more disconnected than most peoples.... I can express emotions in order to attempt to fit in with people but it's hard for me to know what it even means to actually feel them (and I don't actually know how y'all judges what you really feel and what you don't really feel but feel like you feel..... and I don't feel emotions in my body)... if I'm okay I'm okay. I'm just happy that with support I may actually have a life! I am happy day to day, but my life doesn't usually move forwards, or backwards. So I am excited about possible future progress.

Again, I'm just not going to be too hard on myself if my potential is not infinite when it comes to my development. With support I may be able to develop a lot further than without support, but I won't be too hard on myself or feel like a loser if I can't develop to a level that most people are at, in many ways.

In some ways I'm beyond them anyways, and they can't see what I see, so who cares, hehe.

Above all... I don't feel like a weirdo or a loser now because I no longer blame myself for struggling to develop.... and I feel more quirky than "weird" now.

[henryp]

This is a left field suggestion, but have you considered a relationship with someone in prison?

[Edwardo Piet]

Long post, but very engaging. It's an important time in your life and one that will lead to more learning about yourself and those around you, I'd think. Hopefully a weight is lifted.

I remember my mother saying I was tested for it as a wee little kid (not sure how one tests for that). But it would up not being the case. As somebody with spina bifida (which has nothing to do with autism spectrum), I am subject to certain social discrepancies that might have somehow mimicked something in autism.

Anyhow, I'm glad to see this post and hope it helps to have posted.

I just told my mom while she was at work and she said she cried tears of relief while at work

I don't even get along with my mom very well but I feel bad for her that I made her cry at work lol. I know it was tears of relief but I don't want her to be himbarassed if others are looking.

And I feel silly thinking that way because we don't get along very well lol.

I don't feel silly for being happy that she's relieved though. I feel happy when a burden is lifted from anyone, whoever and wherever they are.

And yeah, it feels like a burden is lifted for me too. Big Style.

---

That's it I guess. I've probably rambled too much already. I'm sorry if this is all TL;DR.

It wasn't too long my love, you have every right to be happy and expressive about this. I am truly so happy for you and even more so proud of you for getting these answers and helping yourself. You are a very sweet, caring, smart man and I think now you will be able to feel better about yourself.

Your post has made me feel very happy

---

I have this theory that most people with autism are exceptional, in the gifted sense.

At the candy store where I work, there used to be other volunteers on the autism spectrum, and many were on the lower-functioning end of the scale. One girl in particular mostly just paced around humming, not any songs, often just one sustained note, stopped only by occasional speech, unusually since she never moved her lips when she talked. There’s a reason there’s so much talk about the autism spectrum, because there’s a vast variety of autistic types, from physicists who make deep contributions to physics that rival Einstein but can’t be bothered to understand how the world of people works (Paul Dirac, for those of you who don’t know), and then, there’s the types of people Autism Speaks bring out to treat it like it’s a horrible disease that may or may not happen because of vaccines. Naturally, there’s a shitload of inbetween.

I had a friend years ago, called Dave, who was deaf, who worked at a day center. We used to call him deaf dave from the deaf dave dave center. Anyways.... we talked all the time and he was awesome. He was 80% deaf but he could lip read so well that it was like he wasn't deaf.

Anyways. We'd talk about everything under the sun. Anyways.

He told me once that he knew a highly autistic guy who was an incredible mathematican with an absurdly high IQ... but couldn't make a cup of tea because his head was so in the clouds thinking about mathematics all the time.

That was probably rather underwhelming of me to say after all that deaf dave from the deaf dave dave center stuff.

When I talked about him to my family, that's how I referred to him. In an endearing way. I didn't feel bad about calling him that.... after all.... his real nickname by his friend was "porky" because there was this ongoing joke about him having a thing for pigs. And I could never get a serious answer from him, when I asked him about it he'd say in front of a bunch of people "Well it was a very good looking pig!" and laughed.

None of this is relevant but there ya go.

---

This is a left field suggestion, but have you considered a relationship with someone in prison?

No. I know she birthed you but what did she do so bad to end up in there for so long shortly after popping you out of her vagina? And does she have nice tits? Probably not they're probably pretty saggy by now. At least she's a bad girl though or she wouldn't be in prison. Rawr.

---

Hammy, do you think religion is one big scam? Yes? Sorry, nothing wrong with your brain... Go get a job...now!

The thing about Iggy is.... when he's on a serious thread he's not being serious.

And when he's on a non-serious thread... he's not being serious.

HOWEVER.... when he SAYS he's being serious... okay he's not serious then either.

[Rev. Rye]

He told me once that he knew a highly autistic guy who was an incredible mathematican with an absurdly high IQ... but couldn't make a cup of tea because his head was so in the clouds thinking about mathematics all the time.

Yeah, I learned to read before I was potty-trained, but it honestly took me until I was almost a teenager before I learned to tie my shoes. And then it was a rudimentary "bunny ears" knot. To this day, I still prefer to use slip-ons. Is there even much of a point in the dominance of the laced shoe? Is there a reason shoes need to be secured with a needlessly complicated roping system, when elastic, buckles, straps, or even the old childhood standby of Velcro are all a lot easier to use and a lot harder to casually undo and trip on? Funny thing; women's shoes often resort to the less complicated systems of security I just mentioned, but the powers that be compensated by forcing their feet into unnatural positions.





(Note, those mangled feet at the end do not belong to Katherine Parkinson)

[Edwardo Piet]

Yeah, I learned to read before I was potty-trained

Me too. Best reader of my class despite the diaper.

but it honestly took me until I was almost a teenager before I learned to tie my shoes.

I still struggle now. I have velcro. It's easier.

I can tie a knot in a shoe.... but I get tired of doing them up and undoing them and they always come undone so I'm not very good at it. And I often do multiple knots and sometimes I've even been known to ruin laces.

It can also take me half an hour to make my bed... and I can't fold paper or chop potatoes or cheese straight. And peeling apples looks like fucking magic. How the fuck do people do that? I even struggle with a potato peeler. I thought that was hard enough. Apples are impossible.

I still struggle to fold my clothes too. I always forget how it's done and they get crinkily. Paper is never straight though. And my handwriting is wobbley but who the fuck needs handwriting when since I was 6 years old I've been able to type like this after 30 minutes practice? All I lacked was speed. I never had to even learn to touch type.... I spent about 29 minutes staring at the keyboard feeling confused as to why my dad was talking me through it step by step, and then I said to him something like "Don't I just move my fingers where is closest and most comfortable?" and then he watched me touch type in amazement. At a slow speed for about a minute. Not long after it was a moderate speed. Took about a year for me to develop full speed. But I never really got a years daily practice until I started using the internet at age 12.

Basically the skill itself I seem to have been born with, it's weird (or a gift, just not much of one. Typing isn't exactly the most fascinating skill... I wish I was a pianist instead (the keys feel too big and clunky.... I often wonder if I'd been shown a musicial keyboard or piano from a young age maybe I'd have that gift instead...sigh)).... and all practice did was speed me up.

I tend to accelerate when I'm feeling hyperactive lol. I don't just type fast it gets faster and faster as I go lol.