Autism Spectrum Disorder

[Shell B]

I think Min's probably being a bit misunderstood here. I agree with him that tons of drugs are prescribed to young children that they don't need. Also, I think his sentiment sounded a bit more like, "These kids should be treated normally, as they are fine the way they are." than, "Fuck giving these kids treatment and recognition."

Hammy, I wonder if now that you have a diagnosis, you can get better treatment and help with the way you interact. I hope you get what you need.

[Aegon]

As somebody with ADHD, who has been medicated for ADHD, I would agree that kids are being overmedicated for it and I don't like pharma hooking them on relatively strong stimulants at such an age. But that's for another topic.

I'm glad you have been diagnosed and you can better understand yourself, friend.

[mlmooney89]

I do agree that sometime certain things are over diagnosed to calm children down but that is usually ADD or ADHD not autism.

I worked at a daycare for five years so I've seen quite a bit but one thing stuck with me was a family that was diagnosed with ADHD for their 9 year old daughter. Dad was army mom was a nurse. They said that was just the school not wanting to do anything about real discipline for her. When she was at home she was made to behave so they knew she would. The school said the teachers had too many kids to ensure her good behavior. They came to me as her daycare 'teacher'. I had 35 kids at once and the ages ranged from 5 to 12 so my classroom was chaos if a strong 'teacher' wasn't in it. I kept my class orderly though. They laid down the rules for me and told me her calm down method. Sure enough it worked but I had to make sure she did it. When she got angry I had to stop her, ask her what was wrong, ask her if she was past her calm levels. She would be flustered and angry and have a hard time speaking but she would tell me even if it was hard to understand. I would tell her to go find a book and give herself a few minutes. She'd stomp over to the books, snatch a book up, throw herself on the floor then read the book. Within five minutes she would come back to me and say "Mrs. Mandy, I'm sorry I got upset. I'm better now." I would thank her for listening to me and apologizing and we would work together on fixing whatever had angered her. That was a case of the school not wanting to help the child out for sure.

That situation isn't always the case though although the process of walking the child through the emotions and giving time to feel them is similar to what Jack was saying in preparing her little one for something other's take as trivial events. Some kids can be helped with one method some need others and I've never found a fool proof one that works for everyone. That's why I hate when parents of well behaved children go "you don't have to spank children to get them to behave.", "Positive reinforcement works!", "I just did this and it worked" Yeah well Susan that doesn't work for all kids. Learning their personality and how they grow, respond, comprehend are so important to help build healthy adults. In some cases medicine IS needed and that's not bad.

Plus Hammy went through a LOT to even get diagnosed, this wasn't something they just handed to him because he said he felt he could be on the spectrum. I'm very proud of him for doing what he needed to in order to get this info.

[Shell B]

I just didn't get the feeling that he was dismissing Hammy. I got the sense that it was a, "You're fine the way you are. There, there" kind of thing. I could be wrong.

[henryp]

It's insane that homeschooling is a thing. I understand it can be done well, with little homeschool groups, and lots of activities and such to make sure social growth isn't stunted.

Did you get any of that Hammy? Youth sports? Theater? Really, anything where you regularly were interacting with a bunch of your peers?

[Catholic_Lady]

Yeah I think homeschooling is fine so long as it is compensated with daily group activities with other kids outside the home. Otherwise it seems it can be a bit detrimental, especially to kids with autism.

[Shell B]

Schools for kids with autism are pretty rad.

[Edwardo Piet]

Yeah I think homeschooling is fine so long as it is compensated with daily group activities with other kids outside the home. Otherwise it seems it can be a bit detrimental, especially to kids with autism.

Yeah that's just it you see. All 4 of my younger siblings turned out fine, and they didn't even have a year of school like I did. So even when home-schooling succeeded with them it didn't succeed with me. My education was fine but I missed out on the rest and struggled practically and socially.

I doubt I would have coped any better if I'd stayed at the school I was at though. With all the bullying and complete obliviousness to my struggles there. It's a pity there wasn't a better school nearby and that my family couldn't afford to take me anywhere further. They didn't have many more options really.

It was my dad's idea to take me out of school. But I do wonder if I would have coped in THAT school. What made matters worse is two of the kids who bullied me the most: Their parents were friends with the headmistress, who proceeded to treat me very badly, while she favored them. The two kids swung me around and around by each arm, and despite being a year older than them, all the other kids were bigger and stronger than me, even the girls. (I didn't average out in height until after my growth spurt that started at 13. My mom even took me to the doctor as a small child and they had this graph with heights for children, and I was shorter than the shortest point on the graph. I'm now averaged out at five foot seven... but I was tiny for my age up until I was about 13 or 14)... So after they swung me round and round, I tripped one of them up so I could escape. My dad taught me to do that if I get attacked, to defend myself. The kid who got tripped up either couldn't tell the difference between a kick and a trip, or they flat out lied and said I had kicked them. Anyway, the headmistress, in charge of the whole school, responded by scolding and shouting at me and saying "How would you like it if I put my foot on YOU?". I found that experience very traumatic and very confusing, especially considering I was the one who was attacked and a person in position of authority was telling me off for defending myself, and it's one of the few visual memories I remember vividly. Along with my father's physical violence towards me... or some of the best RL times in my life like visiting Orbital concerts.

So at least it was probably a good thing I didn't remain in THAT school.

[mlmooney89]

I know homeschooling can be done right and create great adults but more often than not I've seen it really hinder the children because the parents don't understand there is more to school than just education. I've had one three year old that was so used to being just with his mother that when she finally left him in daycare he went postal. He was slamming his head against the floor in total meltdown. I had to literally hold this child so he couldn't hurt himself. I know it takes most kids awhile to get used to being without their parents in a strange building but this kid didn't calm down the entire time. Separation anxiety is a very real thing and it hurts the child much more than just right then. The mom realized how sheltered the child was and started bringing him more often. It took about a year but then he was able to socialize with the other children just fine. Daycare and school are always a good idea even in small amounts.

[Edwardo Piet]

I agree with you completely. I sometimes think that the amount I was sheltered has messed my life up even more than some of the violence my dad directed as me, as it was only a few times and I've blocked any trauma of it out. But no matter how much I forget about the fact that I was so sheltered, it still affects me because it was a case of experiences not happening to me that should have.

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I agree with him that tons of drugs are prescribed to young children that they don't need.

I agree with that too. But Ritalin is definitely an ADHD thing. And I don't know if there's many, or any, drugs that are frequently prescribed to autism.

I know that whereas there are plenty of autism experts in America that treat autistic children properly, there is plenty of behavioral correction programs that treat autistic children very badly, and as people who need to be fixed, as well.

Also, I think his sentiment sounded a bit more like, "These kids should be treated normally, as they are fine the way they are." than, "Fuck giving these kids treatment and recognition."

Both those sentiments miss the point though. Autistic children who need additional support shouldn't be dismissed by being treated "normally" as in the same as everyone else, but they shouldn't be seen as merely different or quirky either. They should be treated like children with a developmental disorder, but not as naughty brats who need their behavior corrected, or quirksters that just need to be seen as "different" and then treated the same as everyone else because "aren't we all different?".

Hammy, I wonder if now that you have a diagnosis, you can get better treatment and help with the way you interact. I hope you get what you need.

I wonder if I can too. I'm gonna try!

I have this big list of ways I can get support and I don't know where to start! But they said I can email them anytime... so when I'm ready I am gonna email them telling them I dunno where to start.

I have been told they've already contacted a support worker and that the support worker will contact me by email. But I haven't heard anything yet.

They're not gonna leave me to my own devices though because I am already going back to the autism center for two post-sessions where I can ask them any questions I want, about autism and about how they think it most affects myself specifically. And any questions about my own personal autism report, that I shared a little bit from here, and stuff like that.

I'm also excited about joining a local autism group to meet other autistic adults. I'll do that soon. I'm volunteering on Wednesday at an office and the lady who is in charge of the volunteers there, and who is really nice, is the one who told me about the local group. So I'll ask her about it on Wednesday.

The autism specialists gave me the number for the national autistic society, or whatever it's called, who I can contact. But I am not really going out of my way to initate or contact anyone or anything until I feel ready and until I feel the correct order to do stuff in. I'll probably get down to Citizens Advice too as I've also been told I may be able to increase my benefit money as autism is a recognized disability. So I've been told that too, there's this big list of information and contacts, and even books to read, and I have no idea where to start! So I am going to ask them what the best order is. When I feel ready to email them. It all feels like a shot in the dark! I'm really excited but also really nervous.

So yeah, the specialists gave me the number for the national autistic thingy, but they're not familiar with all the local groups in every area of the country. So they didn't tell me about the one in my local area. But, heck, some of those local groups might be quite new and they're probably too busy to keep track of all the local goings in of every area of the country!

I think the national autistic society thingy, or whatever it's called, is pretty widespread throughout the whole country, too. Just perhaps not my area is my area is pretty small, and not one of the cities or big towns of England.

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Plus Hammy went through a LOT to even get diagnosed, this wasn't something they just handed to him because he said he felt he could be on the spectrum. I'm very proud of him for doing what he needed to in order to get this info.

Not only that, but when random strangers you meet in a pub and start getting along with in a poker game, who know nothing about your struggles or your autism or your mental health, or you at all, and they say out of nowhere "You don't happen to have autism do you? As I'm a carer for a kid with autism and I think you've got it" and when teaching assistants at autistic schools mention it to you without you telling them about it, and when a neuropsychologist has already given you a general neurological assessment regarding an unrelated health condition has suggested it to you.... like when the whole world is telling YOU you've got it.... yeah, you're not just someone who is fed up with life and seeks out an autism center because you think that you might be on the spectrum as you're a little bit weird, lol. Definitely not even close to comparable! And my doctors notes over the years were already full with comments about it.

It's almost like the world sought me out about it really, rather than the other way around, lol. I just went for it because I was tired of doctors telling me I had problems that caused me distress but they were unique to me and despite being real they couldn't find a diagnosis, and everything and everyone was screaming autism at me, so when normal mental health professionals and GPs and psychs are certain something is wrong but they have no idea what... then is the time to go to a specialist. When you're put on benefit money and declared unfit for work for being disabled despite being physically healthy, and despite simultaneously being told by mental health professionals that they have no idea what the problem is but that there definitely is a problem, then is the time to go to a specialist.

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Schools for kids with autism are pretty rad.

If only it had been recognized in me sooner. I was probably taken out of school before the school had chance to notice it though. Oh, and of course it didn't help that the school I went to was pretty fucking shitty towards me.

But even at that school I am sure it would have been eventually recognized. I dunno how long it would have taken though.... I've always been high functioning and it was way back in 1993 when I finished school... I dunno how knowledgeable the UK was about high-functioning less visibly severe autism back in the early 90s... and, hell, even today young children with high functioning autism don't always get spotted until they're older.

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Yeah I think homeschooling is fine so long as it is compensated with daily group activities with other kids outside the home.

My mom tried lol. But I never wanted to go out lol.