The Newly Departed thread: announcements (departures)

[Shell B]

It'd be great if the whole forum had stricter rules enforcing civility and geared towards productive discussion. I just didn't suggest that because I thought it would be too much for most people. I assumed just having 1 section like that was more of a compromise for both sides. But hey, if the whole forum is going to be more geared towards civil discussion now, that's awesome.

Easy. I didn't say that. I said we're talking about a lot of things, and ask for everyone to be patient. In the meantime, I hope all of you model the behavior you hope to see. That means, no calling people petty.

[Shell B]

It'd be great if the whole forum had stricter rules enforcing civility and geared towards productive discussion. I just didn't suggest that because I thought it would be too much for most people. I assumed just having 1 section like that was more of a compromise for both sides. But hey, if the whole forum is going to be more geared towards civil discussion now, that's awesome.

It is a bit too much, and I suspect it won't roll well with many members, including veteran ones. I want these people to have a say at least as well. I'd rather the rules not be restricted but encourage people to be more civil instead through the right conditions and cooperation as a whole.

And that could be what happens.

[Aroura]

I leave for a little while and you guys blow up the forum. 🤨

Seriously though, I'm extremely sad to see a whole host of folks leave, so many wonderful humans in that group. I send them all my hugs. I have no idea what happened, and it's none of my business. I take no sides.

I had to leave over civility issues as well. Other people's and my own. I find that sometimes this place brings out the worst in me, but I've also made real friends here.

I hope the people who left come back eventually, and the forum can heal in the meantime.

Peace and hugs, all.

[Catholic_Lady]

It'd be great if the whole forum had stricter rules enforcing civility and geared towards productive discussion. I just didn't suggest that because I thought it would be too much for most people. I assumed just having 1 section like that was more of a compromise for both sides. But hey, if the whole forum is going to be more geared towards civil discussion now, that's awesome.

Easy. I didn't say that. I said we're talking about a lot of things, and ask for everyone to be patient. In the meantime, I hope all of you model the behavior you hope to see. That means, no calling people petty.

Fair enough. If you're referring to my posts to Gentlemen Bastard though, I didn't call him (or anyone) petty. I said it was petty of him to be angry about us deciding to no longer post, not that he is petty. And I wouldn't have said that if he wasn't coming at me.

[Shell B]

So, are we to make a rule that says it's okay to be uncivil if someone else starts it? These are important points to make, and questions for all of you to ask yourselves.

For the record, I'm pretty sure saying someone is doing something petty is calling them petty. You know I have no objection to this kind of banter or discourse, but you do. I want to know how people really want this to go, because there are going to be times when the rules seem pretty good against a foe, but not so good when applied to you.

[Fidel_Castronaut]

I leave for a little while and you guys blow up the forum. 🤨

Seriously though, I'm extremely sad to see a whole host of folks leave, so many wonderful humans in that group. I send them all my hugs. I have no idea what happened, and it's none of my business. I take no sides.

I had to leave over civility issues as well. Other people's and my own. I find that sometimes this place brings out the worst in me, but I've also made real friends here.

I hope the people who left come back eventually, and the forum can heal in the meantime.

Peace and hugs, all.

You should drop by more often Aroura, it's alwasy good to see your posts.

[Catholic_Lady]

So, are we to make a rule that says it's okay to be uncivil if someone else starts it? These are important points to make, and questions for all of you to ask yourselves.

For the record, I'm pretty sure saying someone is doing something petty is calling them petty. You know I have no objection to this kind of banter or discourse, but you do. I want to know how people really want this to go, because there are going to be times when the rules seem pretty good against a foe, but not so good when applied to you.

I am not a perfect person. When I'm being attacked, it is difficult at times not to say something back after a while. I do try very hard to be civil and keep my cool around here through whatever gets thrown my way, but fall short at times. I hope that if each side makes a better effort, it'll be easier for both to behave.

[GrandizerII]

So, are we to make a rule that says it's okay to be uncivil if someone else starts it? These are important points to make, and questions for all of you to ask yourselves.

If all (or at least most of us) can agree to be civil in a certain thread, and we can agree to ignore those who are uncivil, then we should discourage retaliation and collectively ignore. And it's not just about uncivil, but if anyone is clearly trolling, we can ignore them as well. And at least for me, it doesn't seem too difficult to do personally (if I commit to it). If I can get along well with Drich in the Atheist Bible Study thread by simply ignoring his attitude and the attitude of a couple others he's been having unpleasant banterings with (when normally I would not want anything to do with him), I think if others have the same/similar mindset we can do it as a whole.

It won't work, though, if not enough of us are willing to play by the "rules". That's one drawback of this.

[Fidel_Castronaut]

Well, even i've had decent discussions with Drich over the years, and that's saying a lot.

So there's always a silver lining and all that.

[Shell B]

So, are we to make a rule that says it's okay to be uncivil if someone else starts it? These are important points to make, and questions for all of you to ask yourselves.

For the record, I'm pretty sure saying someone is doing something petty is calling them petty. You know I have no objection to this kind of banter or discourse, but you do. I want to know how people really want this to go, because there are going to be times when the rules seem pretty good against a foe, but not so good when applied to you.

I am not a perfect person. When I'm being attacked, it is difficult at times not to say something back after a while. I do try very hard to be civil and keep my cool around here through whatever gets thrown my way, but fall short at times. I hope that if each side makes a better effort, it'll be easier for both to behave.

Of course you're not. However, you are making a case for certain behavior. I think the place to start for everyone is to model that behavior. No one else has to make an effort for one person to behave. All they have to do is want to.

I know it's difficult not to say something back, not that I've ever really tried such a thing. I'm not big on tongue biting. That said, you want us to be bigger people. Change starts with you. Not you you, but you in the sense that everyone who wants to see something happen should be working for it, not just playing it lip service and waiting for everyone else to do the heavy lifting.