Posts: 3438
Threads: 25
Joined: August 9, 2015
Reputation:
27
Pastafarianism
July 29, 2019 at 8:40 pm
Since @ Drich warned me,  I decided to start this thread in the other religions section which he seemed to skim over to do an AMA.
Ask away (questions may be rhetorical, metaphorical, philosophical, written in Klingon and even slightly sexual)
"For the only way to eternal glory is a life lived in service of our Lord, FSM; Verily it is FSM who is the perfect being the name higher than all names, king of all kings and will bestow upon us all, one day, The great reclaiming" -The Prophet Boiardi-
Conservative trigger warning.
Posts: 2009
Threads: 2
Joined: October 8, 2012
Reputation:
26
RE: Pastafarianism
July 29, 2019 at 10:47 pm
OK, I'll start.
Does Klingon philosophy contain any guides about sex? I'm asking rhetorically, of course.
Posts: 3438
Threads: 25
Joined: August 9, 2015
Reputation:
27
RE: Pastafarianism
July 29, 2019 at 11:12 pm
(July 29, 2019 at 10:47 pm)LostLocke Wrote: OK, I'll start.
Does Klingon philosophy contain any guides about sex? I'm asking rhetorically, of course.
Yes. There is even a subsection about Bat'leth safety in the bed
"For the only way to eternal glory is a life lived in service of our Lord, FSM; Verily it is FSM who is the perfect being the name higher than all names, king of all kings and will bestow upon us all, one day, The great reclaiming" -The Prophet Boiardi-
Conservative trigger warning.
Posts: 35299
Threads: 204
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation:
146
RE: Pastafarianism
July 29, 2019 at 11:27 pm
(July 29, 2019 at 10:47 pm)LostLocke Wrote: OK, I'll start.
Does Klingon philosophy contain any guides about sex? I'm asking rhetorically, of course.
“Don’t discuss the rubber chicken!”
It comes from the writings of the obscure Klingon philosopher Na’Pul the Mad.
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
Posts: 5813
Threads: 86
Joined: November 19, 2017
Reputation:
59
RE: Pastafarianism
July 29, 2019 at 11:45 pm
I understand that there will be beer and pirate stuff going on in the afterlife according to your faith. I'm a bit of a beer snob. Will the beer be quaffable? And will there only be one type of beer?
And (as a personal afterlife fantasy thing) I'd like to spend some "quality time" with 72 non-virgins. (As in women who know what they're doing, and some of them might teach me a thing or two.) Does Pastafarianism allow for that sort of afterlife activity?
I know some religions say you get 72 virgins for blowing up a bus full of people with explosives. But I'm hoping His Noodliness might let me hang with 72 non-virgins because once I blew a bunch of bubbles at a hippie festival. I mean... there were bubbles everywhere, and people loved it. To me, that's way more worthwhile than a suicide bombing.
And it's not like I expect these 72 non-virgins to be beholden to me or anything. I hope some will be easy sluts. But others might require wooing... and others will reject me outright. And I'm cool with that.
My main concern is the beer. Will it be good? Can I have limitless IPA in the afterlife?
Posts: 3438
Threads: 25
Joined: August 9, 2015
Reputation:
27
RE: Pastafarianism
July 30, 2019 at 1:38 am
(This post was last modified: July 30, 2019 at 1:39 am by Nay_Sayer.)
(July 29, 2019 at 11:27 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: (July 29, 2019 at 10:47 pm)LostLocke Wrote: OK, I'll start.
Does Klingon philosophy contain any guides about sex? I'm asking rhetorically, of course.
“Don’t discuss the rubber chicken!”
It comes from the writings of the obscure Klingon philosopher Na’Pul the Mad.
The rubber chicken saga will take a good hour but I'll get on it
(July 29, 2019 at 11:45 pm)vulcanlogician Wrote: I understand that there will be beer and pirate stuff going on in the afterlife according to your faith. I'm a bit of a beer snob. Will the beer be quaffable? And will there only be one type of beer?
And (as a personal afterlife fantasy thing) I'd like to spend some "quality time" with 72 non-virgins. (As in women who know what they're doing, and some of them might teach me a thing or two.) Does Pastafarianism allow for that sort of afterlife activity?
I know some religions say you get 72 virgins for blowing up a bus full of people with explosives. But I'm hoping His Noodliness might let me hang with 72 non-virgins because once I blew a bunch of bubbles at a hippie festival. I mean... there were bubbles everywhere, and people loved it. To me, that's way more worthwhile than a suicide bombing.
And it's not like I expect these 72 non-virgins to be beholden to me or anything. I hope some will be easy sluts. But others might require wooing... and others will reject me outright. And I'm cool with that.
My main concern is the beer. Will it be good? Can I have limitless IPA in the afterlife?
All types of beer are available 24/7, perfectly chilled and with fun little umbrellas
"For the only way to eternal glory is a life lived in service of our Lord, FSM; Verily it is FSM who is the perfect being the name higher than all names, king of all kings and will bestow upon us all, one day, The great reclaiming" -The Prophet Boiardi-
Conservative trigger warning.
Posts: 4446
Threads: 87
Joined: December 2, 2009
Reputation:
47
RE: Pastafarianism
July 30, 2019 at 10:17 am
umbrellas in beer, that's sacrilege 
"There ought to be a term that would designate those who actually follow the teachings of Jesus, since the word 'Christian' has been largely divorced from those teachings, and so polluted by fundamentalists that it has come to connote their polar opposite: intolerance, vindictive hatred, and bigotry." -- Philip Stater, Huffington Post
always working on cleaning my windows- me regarding Johari
Posts: 17084
Threads: 462
Joined: March 29, 2015
Reputation:
30
RE: Pastafarianism
July 30, 2019 at 10:29 am
What would be Pastafarian holy mountain? Jews have Sinai, Muslims have Al-Haram, Christians have Golgotha, Buddhist have Mount Kailash, and so on, but what mountain is holy to Pastafarians?
teachings of the Bible are so muddled and self-contradictory that it was possible for Christians to happily burn heretics alive for five long centuries. It was even possible for the most venerated patriarchs of the Church, like St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, to conclude that heretics should be tortured (Augustine) or killed outright (Aquinas). Martin Luther and John Calvin advocated the wholesale murder of heretics, apostates, Jews, and witches. - Sam Harris, "Letter To A Christian Nation"
Posts: 9905
Threads: 21
Joined: September 8, 2015
Reputation:
79
RE: Pastafarianism
July 30, 2019 at 11:04 am
Pastafarianism must have a body of water, not a mountain, right?
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
Posts: 3438
Threads: 25
Joined: August 9, 2015
Reputation:
27
RE: Pastafarianism
July 30, 2019 at 11:35 am
(This post was last modified: July 30, 2019 at 11:35 am by Nay_Sayer.)
(July 30, 2019 at 10:29 am)Fake Messiah Wrote: What would be Pastafarian holy mountain? Jews have Sinai, Muslims have Al-Haram, Christians have Golgotha, Buddhist have Mount Kailash, and so on, but what mountain is holy to Pastafarians?
Mount Cook
(July 30, 2019 at 10:17 am)tackattack Wrote: umbrellas in beer, that's sacrilege
It's fancy and upscale is what it is!
"For the only way to eternal glory is a life lived in service of our Lord, FSM; Verily it is FSM who is the perfect being the name higher than all names, king of all kings and will bestow upon us all, one day, The great reclaiming" -The Prophet Boiardi-
Conservative trigger warning.
|
![[Image: s-l640.jpg]](https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/DjAAAOSwpIhe1HCM/s-l640.jpg)
