Shocking Blasphemy

[YahwehIsTheWay]

I'm back from the so-called Reason Rally in DC this last weekend. I have to say the rally itself wasn't nearly as shocking as my visit to the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History. There was all kinds of nonsense on display about evolution and the hundreds of millions of years and how the earth is round. There was nothing balanced in their presentation of the controversy. Nothing about how the earth is flat supported by pillars or how the universe was created 6000 years old.

You'd almost think there was no controversy, that science had settled all these matters.

[mediamogul]

What were YOU doing at the Reason Rally? Trying to zap Dawkins with a heart attack?

[Aegrus]

That's because it has, Einstein.

[klassykow]

I hope this is sarcasm. Landover Baptist Vacation Bible Camp sounds like a hoot!

[Aegrus]

I hope this is sarcasm. Landover Baptist Vacation Bible Camp sounds like a hoot!

Oh, crap. Landover Baptist? Yep, the OP is a troll. The Landover Baptist forum is a parody forum. I just read the OP's avatar.

[klassykow]

Oh, crap. Landover Baptist? Yep, the OP is a troll. The Landover Baptist forum is a parody forum. I just read the OP's avatar.

Good eye. I'm a little disappointed that this means I won't get to go to what I was imagining to be a pretty fabulous camping experience...

[YahwehIsTheWay]

I'm not a troll. I'm the resident True Christian ™ of this forum.

[klassykow]

I'm not a troll. I'm the resident True Christian ™ of this forum.

Awesome! My summer camp plans are on again! hehe

[R-e-n-n-a-t]

The Earth isn't supported by pillars. It's on a the back of the Great Turtle, there's a lot of proof. For example, the Earth is moving in a circle, but that's impossible unless something is moving it or it would have stopped a long time ago. The Great Turtle is walking around in a circle.

In addition, why is always night on half of the Earth and day on the other side? Science can't explain this, there are just some things that science will never have answers to. But I know that the Great Turtle glows, and as the Earth rocks on his shell, first one half and then the other is exposed to his brightness.

And then there's heat and cold. Science has only identified heat, it can't find any cold energy particles but we can feel that cold exists. When the Earth rocks on the back of the Great Turtle, the dark part that's not in his glow starts to be corrupted with cold particles from his enemy the Yazkinoth.

The Yazkinoth is the other thing that science can't explain. I mean science can't explain why people die or why they get old it's just the natural way, and science can't know what happens after we die. Yazkinoth does all that stuff because he's evil and he puts cold on the Earth. He makes people age because in the Before-Time man was perfect, but then Yazkinoth made women as a poor imitation of man with smaller shoulders and weaker, and after women were made they lured men away from the Great Turtle. The Great Turtle is all-powerful and all-knowing, so when his followers told him what Yazkinoth had done, he was very mad and said that as long as his children followed Yazkinoth's women, they would never live forever so now they get old and die and this will happens until everyone believes in the Great Turtle and all women are thrown back to Yazkinoth. When we flew to the Moon it was because the Great Turtle knew it was time to let us send all the women decievers back to Yazkinoth on the moon. So science is actually the pawn of the Great Turtle and he is very pleased and soon aliens.

And don't say "why does the Turtle not just destroy Yazkinoth" because it's not that simple. Non-believers just don't understand because they haven't been showered love from the Great Turtle so they actually believe in him but hate him and they just say they don't believe. I win.

And all women need to go back to the Moon or they will torment us forever. When a woman dies her soul finds another body but since all women are ancient and were around since they were all created by Yazkinoth there are no extra woman bodies. So the spirit goes into a man and that makes a gay people and they need to be sent to the Moon as well. And it's going to happen in 12 days from today because pineapple.

Now THAT is how you TROLL! You should have tried harder.

[Cyberman]

We have documentary proof that the Earth/Great Turtle theory is nonsense. In "The Science of Discworld", it's shown that the Wizards of Unseen University on Discworld - which we know to be carried on the back of the Great Turtle A'Tuin and his/her attendant elephants - accidentally create our Universe. Thus by extension they also create our planet, which they christen Roundworld precisely because of their observations that everything in our Universe is balls. So that blows your theory out of the sky, I'm afraid.