Ask, Seek, Knock

[The Grand Nudger]

Who isn't Chuck? It's not like the people who wrote that shit had firm grasp on the world around them. Stack the worlds greatest academic underachiever of today up against the worlds most brilliant mind of the bronze age and I'd bet you'd be looking at a complete rout on the score of general knowledge. Most of us here could unintentionally embarrass the shit out of anyone who thought they knew something in the bronze age. Still, for some strange reason...there are those that clearly know better today, but would rather insist upon the accuracy and completeness of these folks knowledge because they feel that it supports their wishes for the hereafter.

[Minimalist]

This will do for a start. There are so many compilations of bible fuck-ups it is hard to know where to begin.

http://www.goatstar.org/bible-errors/

[Cinjin]

I don't get it...

the first truth ever to come out of your mouth on this site.

... After this age according to John's work in revelation God will wipe away the current Heaven and the current Earth, and start over ...

Even your christard buddies don't know who John was and it's highly suspected that he likely borrowed a common name from the Bible - or even better, someone borrowed it for him.

The man was out of his mind - stranded and isolated on an island and very likely starving and hallucinating while he wrote the most ridiculous book in the entire bible. A book by the way, that was heavily debated whether or not it should even be included in the Bible. It's likely the only reason it was finally accepted (under protest) was because the church realized that terrifying the shit out of the stupids was a good way to put people in the pews and revenue in the coffers.



Note: If some nut bag wrote the EXACT same thing while stranded on an island anywhere in the world today and professed it was from the one true god, you and nearly all of the rest of the christards would laugh and pat him on the head like a silly dog.

...much the same as we do to you, and yet somehow you think your particular bible nutjob is legit.

[Anomalocaris]

Who isn't Chuck? ....

It's called sarcasm.

[Minimalist]

Even your christard buddies don't know who John was and it's highly suspected that he likely borrowed a common name from the Bible - or even better, someone borrowed it for him.

The man was out of his mind - stranded and isolated on an island and very likely starving and hallucinating while he wrote the most ridiculous book in the entire bible.

Revelations dates itself to late 68/very early 69 AD.

10 They are also seven kings. Five have fallen, one is, the other has not yet come; but when he does come, he must remain for only a little while. --Revelations 17

The five fallen "kings" are Augustus, Tiberius, Caligula, Claudius and Nero. The one who "is" is Galba, who picked up the crown after Nero's suicide. The one who is to come is the elder Vespasian.
Clearly this shit was written as jewish apocalyptic literature....Vespasian was even then gathering his armies to crush the revolt of 66 and Josephus had famously declared that Vespasian would be emperor. Josephus also used that as an excuse to defect to the Romans saving his own life and earning the contempt of his countrymen ever since. The writer of Revelations ( or whatever it was originally called ) could not have known about the short-lived rules of Otho and Vitellius as these originated in other parts of the empire.

So, it seems that this shit is merely re-worked jewish nonsense that some xtian thought would be useful. As you say, it very nearly did not make the cut because it was too bizarre for a group that managed to believe that a dead carpenter came back to life....and that takes some doing.

[Cyberman]

Drich, your church (according to the website) believes that the bible is the inerrant word of god. How do you explain errors in it?

The bible's really quite simple. Take any random verse. If it's written in plain language, contains some common-sense message, and/or speaks of something nice, it's a biblical truth relevant to our time. If it's nonsensical, flies in the face of reality, directly contradicts some other bible verse (and it will), and/or speaks of something sick and twisted that threatens to show the book and its characters in a damning light, it's a) a translation error, b) evidence of an evil atheist (sorry; Atheist) smear campaign, c) not meant to be taken literally and needs to be interpreted, d) a product of its time which needs to be viewed with the morality of that time - but still relevant to today, e) one of God's mysteries that you need to be a devout member of the chosen Élite even to have a remote chance of understanding, f) any combination of the above.

[Minimalist]

If it's written in plain language,

Like this one, Stim?

Deuteronomy 21:18-21 ESV / 14 helpful votes

“If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and, though they discipline him, will not listen to them, then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gate of the place where he lives, and they shall say to the elders of his city, ‘This our son is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.’ Then all the men of the city shall stone him to death with stones. So you shall purge the evil from your midst, and all Israel shall hear, and fear.

Seems pretty clear to me.

[Cyberman]

Ah, that's because you're looking at it from an atheist's perspective. God deliberately confounds the unbeliever (ie not "one-of-us") so that he can never see The Truth™ no matter how hard he searches for it; in fact the harder he tries, the greater the confusion.

Seriously, I have had fundy nutjobs - or nundy futjobs? - actually say that to my considerably-less-than-credulous face...

[Minimalist]

Then all the men of the city shall stone him to death with stones.

Seems pretty clear. Certainly the muslims have the rock-throwing part down.

[Darkstar]

Then all the men of the city shall stone him to death with stones.

What else are they going to stone someone with? Balloons?