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I was at the zoo today..or..the true adventures of Dotard.
November 16, 2009 at 9:56 am
(This post was last modified: November 17, 2009 at 10:34 am by Dotard.)
and I noticed my favorite gorilla was locked away. I asked the zoo-keep where she (the gorilla) was at.
He replied that she was very agitated because she is in heat and there are no male gorillas in the zoo.
He thought for a moment and asked, "Would you be interested in having sex with her for $500?"
I thought a moment and said "Sure, under three conditions."
1. I don't want to have to kiss her.
2. Nobody must know about this.
3. I need some time to come up with the $500.
I used to tell a lot of religious jokes. Not any more, I'm a registered sects offender.
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...the least christian thing a person can do is to become a christian. ~Chuck
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NO MA'AM
![[Image: attemptingtogiveadamnc.gif]](https://images.weserv.nl/?url=img824.imageshack.us%2Fimg824%2F7042%2Fattemptingtogiveadamnc.gif)
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RE: I was at the zoo today......
November 17, 2009 at 10:27 am
Joke? I tell no jokes, only true stories.
Like this one:
I was once stranded on an island with a pig and a dog. Every evening we had a ritual where we would go to the west side of the island and watch the sunset.
Usually it's a beautiful sight and very romantic. Well, I got to feeling kinda randy so I put my arm around the pig and started to make my move.
Well, the dog wasn't going to have any of that and promptly got between me and pig and growled and bared his teeth.
I got the message and didn't do that again. Then one day......
a beautiful girl washed up on shore, probably from a shipwreck somewhere, I carry her to my hut and nurse her back to health. When she got well I took her along on our nightly sunset watching ritual.
Again it was a beautiful sight, very romantic. I got that randy feeling again.
I leaned over to whisper in the girl's ear.......
"Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?"
I used to tell a lot of religious jokes. Not any more, I'm a registered sects offender.
---------------
...the least christian thing a person can do is to become a christian. ~Chuck
---------------
NO MA'AM
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RE: I was at the zoo today..or..the true adventures of Dotard.
November 17, 2009 at 6:22 pm
Nice Dotard. And here I thought you were going to do something else with that girl!
Freedom is the ability to march to the beat of a different drummer without fear of retribution. Secularone
Ignorance is bliss but understanding is wonderful. Atheist forums.org
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RE: I was at the zoo today..or..the true adventures of Dotard.
November 17, 2009 at 9:09 pm
Glad you asked.
Well, as you know I am a old dotard. (do⋅tard /ˈdoʊtərd/ Pronunciation [doh-terd] –noun 1. a person, esp. an old person, exhibiting a decline in mental faculties; a weak-minded or foolish old person.)
Today I was at the hunting lodge and two of our newest members came up to me and asked me to tell them some old hunting stories.
"Well," I told them "back in '54 I was out in Africa hunting big game, sitting under a tree resting a bit the brush rustled and out jumped a huge old Lion roaring 'RawWWRrrr!!!'"
and I shit my pants.
Not back in '54 on the hunting trip. Just then when I went 'RawWWRrr!!!'.
I used to tell a lot of religious jokes. Not any more, I'm a registered sects offender.
---------------
...the least christian thing a person can do is to become a christian. ~Chuck
---------------
NO MA'AM
LOL ^_^
