Jesus Spanking

[Baalzebutt]

[Minimalist]

Fucking jesus looks as if he is enjoying that a little too much.

Perv!

[Doubting Thomas]

[little_monkey]

Hey, she was knocking down a beehive... a BEEHIVE. She deserves to be spanked.

[Brian37]

This type of "punishment" is tribal, not corrective, otherwise Christians would not make excuses when they do the same shit.

[Faith No More]

Couldn't Jesus telepathically spank that girl with his mental powers without pulling her pants down?

Conclusion: Jesus wanted to touch her ass.

[little_monkey]

Couldn't Jesus telepathically spank that girl with his mental powers without pulling her pants down?

Conclusion: Jesus wanted to touch her ass.

He was God made flesh. How can he not want to touch her?

[littleendian]

He was God made flesh. How can he not want to touch her?

Maybe because she was created in the image of his DAD? Maybe?

Touching Dad's ass: Dis-GUS-ting!

Giving a child cancer: A sway of Gods wand.
Telling her and her griefing parents it's because she's been naughty: Priceless.

[little_monkey]

He was God made flesh. How can he not want to touch her?

Maybe because she was created in the image of his DAD? Maybe?

Touching Dad's ass: Dis-GUS-ting!

Giving a child cancer: A sway of Gods wand.
Telling her and her griefing parents it's because she's been naughty: Priceless.

But he is his own father... oh wait, is he also the Holy Ghost? Let's see: 1+1+1 =3 = 1. That makes sense. I wish I could pay my bills that way.

[Brian37]

Oh if Jesus is dad, then that meant he was wiping his dad's ass when he shit, and holding his dad's dick when he pissed. But lets give Jesus credit, he never wacked dad/himself off. So voyeurism is ok as long as you don't jack off, but even then God is watching you jack off.

Remember this theists, your Allah/Jesus/Yahweh is all seeing so when you fuck, shit, pee and jack off, daddy is watching.

---

Here is the thing. I am sure men and women in North Korea still, while living under a dictatorship and can be hauled off and disappear, even they have bathrooms with stalls with doors. And I am quite sure when they fuck and make babies even they have some degree of privacy. But with an all powerful god you never have that.

Now theist reading this, please don't cop out to "he does give you privacy" "all seeing" merely means he knows your nature. Bullshit, if he is all powerful, then that has to include the power to spy on you even when you don't want him to, otherwise he is not "all powerful".

And the other problem with the concept of "all powerful" is that you would have no way of knowing if such a being was lying to you. The bullshit dodge is always "he wouldn't do that". The issue is not what this comic book hero claims he would do, but based on the parameters set by "all powerful" the real issue is HOW HOW how would you know?

Now before some theists goes of on a childish rant about my word choice, the ridicule is to demonstrate the absurdity of the claim AS A CLAIM. It is to demonstrate the absurdity that goes into claiming anything by any name that would be "all powerful".

The omni god concept as a claim is a broken concept and the only way it works is to swallow first not question first.

---

Maybe because she was created in the image of his DAD? Maybe?

Touching Dad's ass: Dis-GUS-ting!

Giving a child cancer: A sway of Gods wand.
Telling her and her griefing parents it's because she's been naughty: Priceless.

But he is his own father... oh wait, is he also the Holy Ghost? Let's see: 1+1+1 =3 = 1. That makes sense. I wish I could pay my bills that way.

It would be awesome if bill you could use "faith" as excuse to avoid paying bills. Electric company sends you a notice, you call them up and say "Just have faith my check is in the mail" see how far that gets you. It is sad that theists have the capability of accepting reality outside the issue of religion, but refuse to use that same logic on their superstition.