Insatiable Flirt

[thesummerqueen]

No, no, not you - I meant Rayaan. Sorry, you responded to him before I finished my long post.

[Silver]

No, no, not you - I meant Rayaan. Sorry, you responded to him before I finished my long post.

I knew you were referring to Rayaan, but I am good like that.

[freedomfromforum]

No, no, not you - I meant Rayaan. Sorry, you responded to him before I finished my long post.

I take no offense in being afforded an opportunity to clarify my statements. You sound like an awesome flirt

[thesummerqueen]

I take no offense in being afforded an opportunity to clarify my statements. You sound like an awesome flirt

Like most things I do, when interested enough to focus, I'm intensely good at it.

The problem is focusing me.

Probably because I'm too busy flirting.

[Zazzy]

In what way is flirting supposed to give you an ego boost exactly?


The 3 main motives for flirting could be:
(a) for your own self-esteem
(b) because you actually like the person who you were flirting with
(c) you just want to be in a relationship with someone

The last two are related since if you like that person, then that means that you are flirting because you want to develop a relationship with him, which can also suggest that you are doing this because you don't want to be alone.

However, if you view that flirting is more for the purpose of your own ego boost (through someone else) than actually liking that person, then I think that is kind of a 'forced' ego boost and that's why it is not real, but artificial. You probably wouldn't want to flirt for that reason if you felt that you already had enough self-esteem in the first place. And this kind of volatile ego boost won't last for very long; it is shallow and wanes away quickly.

The whole act is mostly a flattering behavior. You are basically trying to draw attention toward yourself, and then you get a good feeling just out of getting more attention.

Flirting is just fun, Rayaan. If you're doing it right, then it's witty repartee mixed with mutual admiration and a nice case of the "what could have beens" if you're attached. Sure, it's nice to know you're attractive and desirable. It's also nice for the other person. But it should be a chance to mix your intelligence with your sex appeal and have a good time just bantering amusingly with someone you feel some heat with. S'all good if you know where to draw the line.

[freedomfromforum]

But it should be a chance to mix your intelligence with your sex appeal and have a good time just bantering amusingly with someone you feel some heat with. S'all good if you know where to draw the line.

Perfect!

[Angrboda]

Why Rayaan, you shameless flirt. You had me at... what did you say?



I believe it was Maya Angelou who referred to poetry as a mixture of milk tongue and goose foot. The delight in intense poetry, just as in any form of word play, from an exchange of punning, to witty observations, to improvisational drama, involves skills which are legitimate skills, but which aren't really conscious or rational. Even the construction of a strong, rational counter-argument, involves cascades of intuitive judgements which can never be captured in rules and reasons. It's a form of cognizing similar to listening to music in that several "sweet spots" associated with processing sound and language unite to create a perfect storm of cognitive and emotional richness. Flirting is likely no different, you're just using a specific mix that includes poetry, metaphor, word-play, sensuality, desire, relationship - it's an extremely cognitively rich experience. Perhaps even better than sex, in the sense that the brain is the largest sex organ, and more of it is dancing during flirting, than usually occurs in sexual crescendo; it's less intense, but more sustained. Like any other form of social experience involving the clever use of words, it saturates the brain with pleasure in ways that likely can't otherwise be experienced. I don't know that 'ego' is a good word for it. "Joy" is probably closer for me. It is a form of pure play, using some of the most fundamental aspects of our being. Skillful mastery, certainly, but I'd also suggest it's considerably more than that.

[thesummerqueen]

I read all that and all I could hear was:

Hedley Lamarr: My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought, cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives...
Taggart: God darnit Mr. Lamarr, you use your tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore.

I need to focus more.

[freedomfromforum]

---

I believe it was Maya Angelou who referred to poetry as a mixture of milk tongue and goose foot. The delight in intense poetry, just as in any form of word play, from an exchange of punning, to witty observations, to improvisational drama, involves skills which are legitimate skills, but which aren't really conscious or rational. Even the construction of a strong, rational counter-argument, involves cascades of intuitive judgements which can never be captured in rules and reasons. It's a form of cognizing similar to listening to music in that several "sweet spots" associated with processing sound and language unite to create a perfect storm of cognitive and emotional richness. Flirting is likely no different, you're just using a specific mix that includes poetry, metaphor, word-play, sensuality, desire, relationship - it's an extremely cognitively rich experience. Perhaps even better than sex, in the sense that the brain is the largest sex organ, and more of it is dancing during flirting, than usually occurs in sexual crescendo; it's less intense, but more sustained. Like any other form of social experience involving the clever use of words, it saturates the brain with pleasure in ways that likely can't otherwise be experienced. I don't know that 'ego' is a good word for it. "Joy" is probably closer for me. It is a form of pure play, using some of the most fundamental aspects of our being. Skillful mastery, certainly, but I'd also suggest it's considerably more than that.

---

[thesummerqueen]

Well, you inspired me, it would seem, FFF.

And I distracted someone from NaNoWriMo just to see if I could. And because he reacts so deliciously. And because he's a challenge.

It worked. Though I moved it from a somewhat public setting to a private one just to get a more honest reaction.

Now I've got Chris Isaak's "Wicked Game" stuck in my head.