Posts: 9
Threads: 1
Joined: November 1, 2014
Reputation:
0
What to do...
November 1, 2014 at 6:01 pm
So a little bit about myself, I was raised to believe that atheists were the "villain" (well sort of) and to me, until recently, atheist was such a disgusting word, because of me growing up with a religious grandmother. I used to believe in god and jesus but after losing my mom and stepdad to a fire when I was five, it was hard to keep a positive attitude towards anything. Gaining depression, PTSD and also having anxiety disorder, social disorder, and psychotic disorder, being positive wasn't anything that I would come across as. But living with a very religious grandmother I turned to god, but not all the way. Slowly over the course of ten years I began to question the authenticity of the bible, god and all that. Again I was raised to believe that atheists were a bad figure, so I wasn't all that happy when I started turning away from god, but the thing is I just described myself as non-religious even though I had very strong opinions about how the bible just is not logical.
I recently started watching a few atheists channels on youtube and seriously these are the type of people I did not expect. I used to have aurguments with my grandmother about religion and she always had to bring up something awful about atheists, and at the end of every aurgument she would say 'well as long as you're not one of those atheists' I knew deep inside that is exactly what I am, and that scared me because of the lies of what an atheist is that were burned into my memory. But when I saw these people they were just normal people opposite to the image everyone else gave me.
My grandmother would probably flip if she found out I was atheist... so what do I do?
Posts: 60
Threads: 2
Joined: October 31, 2014
Reputation:
2
RE: What to do...
November 1, 2014 at 6:07 pm
I guess, if you think your relationship with your grandmother can survive it, and you think you are going to regret not being honest with her, then by all means tell her. If you think she'd never want to see you again or something, perhaps not. To be honest you don't have to use the atheist label, you can explain to her that you don't think a god is very probable etc. It really just depends on your relationship with your grandmother, something I can't judge.
Posts: 18503
Threads: 79
Joined: May 29, 2010
Reputation:
125
RE: What to do...
November 1, 2014 at 6:15 pm
You will have to understand that your grandmother probably never got a chance to think for herself. Taking that into account, you should be gentle with her and don't make a big deal out of religion.
I apologize for my bluntness, but your grandma will die in ignorance, regardless if you tell her or not. You can probably save an old woman the emotional strife of thinking her grandson to be that evil atheist she projects in her mind. Old people are filled with pride and think younger people are just immature. While this might be true sometimes, it would be wiser for you to avoid such discussions because even if you properly expressed yourself, she would only hear "atheist".
Think about it, does it compensate to educate an old person?
Posts: 46401
Threads: 540
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: What to do...
November 1, 2014 at 6:47 pm
Quote:My grandmother would probably flip if she found out I was atheist... so what do I do?
Tell her, get video of it, and post the result on YouTube under 'Flipping Granny'. It's the only way.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Posts: 9
Threads: 1
Joined: November 1, 2014
Reputation:
0
RE: What to do...
November 1, 2014 at 6:52 pm
it's just that most of my family is on various levels religious. And seriously the word atheist is really hard for me to even pronounce without thinking I did something horribly wrong. I curse a lot and I don't ever feel anything bad for using profanity since I've done it since gradeschool, but the word atheist is just sort of wierd with me, like it's bad. This is because of most of the religious people I know are always saying negative things about atheists, but still the concept of me myself being atheists is scary somehow, you know? But anyways I don't think I'd ever tell her I'm atheist, and just being in here on this site makes me a bit jumpy whenever I hear someone in the hall, lol. So I don't think I'd ever tell her or anyone in my family that's an adult really.
Posts: 6859
Threads: 50
Joined: September 14, 2014
Reputation:
44
RE: What to do...
November 1, 2014 at 6:57 pm
You know and understand the truth, and that's what matters. Your granny raised you and wants the best for you in her own way, so just let her be. Or if you want to really come out to her, do it as 'agnostic' first, before going full baby-eating-atheist on her.
Quote:To know yet to think that one does not know is best; Not to know yet to think that one knows will lead to difficulty.
- Lau Tzu
Join me on atheistforums Slack (pester tibs via pm if you need invite)
Posts: 5706
Threads: 67
Joined: June 13, 2014
Reputation:
69
RE: What to do...
November 1, 2014 at 7:03 pm
(This post was last modified: November 1, 2014 at 7:04 pm by Jenny A.)
(November 1, 2014 at 6:52 pm)Drako Wrote: it's just that most of my family is on various levels religious. And seriously the word atheist is really hard for me to even pronounce without thinking I did something horribly wrong. I curse a lot and I don't ever feel anything bad for using profanity since I've done it since gradeschool, but the word atheist is just sort of wierd with me, like it's bad. This is because of most of the religious people I know are always saying negative things about atheists, but still the concept of me myself being atheists is scary somehow, you know? But anyways I don't think I'd ever tell her I'm atheist, and just being in here on this site makes me a bit jumpy whenever I hear someone in the hall, lol. So I don't think I'd ever tell her or anyone in my family that's an adult really.
I understand perfectly that guilty feeling for not believing the obviously absurd and impossible. But it will go away eventually.
As for telling, well the more atheists out, the easier for all of us, but, that doesn't mean you should martyr yourself to the cause, even just in your own family. I wouldn't tell unless you think that some positive good will come of it.
If there is a god, I want to believe that there is a god. If there is not a god, I want to believe that there is no god.
Posts: 9
Threads: 1
Joined: November 1, 2014
Reputation:
0
RE: What to do...
November 1, 2014 at 7:05 pm
Yah I've 'been' agnostic for a year now so I think I'll just stick with it, just to save myself the stress. And it's slowly settling in now, even though deep down I knew I was atheist, grown up the way I was I think I tried to ignore it and it never really sunk in. But it's gonna take a while for the thought 'I'm an atheist' to not send shivers down my spine.
Posts: 18503
Threads: 79
Joined: May 29, 2010
Reputation:
125
RE: What to do...
November 1, 2014 at 7:09 pm
(This post was last modified: November 1, 2014 at 7:10 pm by LastPoet.)
(November 1, 2014 at 6:52 pm)Drako Wrote: it's just that most of my family is on various levels religious. And seriously the word atheist is really hard for me to even pronounce without thinking I did something horribly wrong. I curse a lot and I don't ever feel anything bad for using profanity since I've done it since gradeschool, but the word atheist is just sort of wierd with me, like it's bad. This is because of most of the religious people I know are always saying negative things about atheists, but still the concept of me myself being atheists is scary somehow, you know? But anyways I don't think I'd ever tell her I'm atheist, and just being in here on this site makes me a bit jumpy whenever I hear someone in the hall, lol. So I don't think I'd ever tell her or anyone in my family that's an adult really.
I can be the black sheep of the family, if you will. In my country, my family won't pressure my beliefs as they will surely feel the pain of my reason.
I am that badass. I still love my family for what they are, not what they believe. You might be wise to remember your grandma was born in a time without internet.
Posts: 9
Threads: 1
Joined: November 1, 2014
Reputation:
0
RE: What to do...
November 1, 2014 at 7:15 pm
I was born almost exactly one year after google.
But I don't think I'll ever tell her. I mean she sorta flipped when I told her I was agnostic, so full on atheist is probably something I want to avoid. lol
|