Ask a (secular) home schooler

[rexbeccarox]

I'm so sorry if I'm being overbearing... I only mean good things, and I won't take it personally if you tell me I'm being too forward

Aroura, I think that is amazing.  I was at a gathering last night, having a chat with a couple of close friends when I brought up your... situation(? I hate that word, maybe due to that awful Jersey Shore, but I can't think of a better one in my stoned state).  One of them has a twelve-year-old going through the common core stuff, and we were talking about how very strange it is. I was saying that if I had the kid and the resources, I would totally homeschool my (admittedly, imaginary) kid, have him or her involved in social groups, like the scouts (I was a GS camp counselor back in the day), and have him or her take the tests to get into a good university program if that's what they wanted.

How do you feel about the homeschooling thing?  Do you enjoy it?  Do you think it has a net benefit for your kid?  You?  Do you guys have a good working relationship?

Thanks a bunch Rebecca.   I really appreciate the support!
It's ok, situation is as good a word as any, lol

Hahaha! Thanks

If you do have a kid someday, don't be afraid to try it!  It's daunting on the surface, but no so bad once you start doing it.

Meh. At the age of 38, never with any other desire for them than the very occasional "how could a kid make my life better?" I think it's best I don't have kids

Let's see, I feel that homeschooling has been great for my kid.  She's really had a chance to excel in some areas, and to go at her own pace overall, which I think is the best part of homeschooling for her. I really hope there is a net benefit for her!  I think it's one of those things I'll be constantly gaging as we go.  But so far she's already well into 3rd grade curriculum, and she never complains on school days, she seems to enjoy what we do....so it all seems to be working well for her, so far.

The fact, alone, that she doesn't complain on school days tells me you're doing something right. Every kid I went to school with tried to get out of it quite frequently.

We do have a good working relationship, I think.  Sometimes I lose my patience, but I have never told her she must do a things just because I say so, so she will point out if she thinks I'm being harsh or pushy, or if she thinks she needs more space or practice on something.  I beleive in treating her a bit like a little adult, so although I'm the teacher and mom and she respects that, she also respects her own reasoning and isn't afraid to tell me if she thinks I'm wrong about something.

This is one of the reasons I'd choose to homeschool if I could: you guys get to communicate one-on-one and find what's best for you both in this process. You guys get to figure out things you're both good at, and you get to focus on her strengths. She's not stuck, faceless, in a classroom with a bunch of kids either dumbing her down or going too fast. You guys are figuring her out, and I think that's the best kind of education a kid can get.

Do I enjoy it?  That one is tougher.  Because of my anxiety thing and narcolepsy, I can get overwhelmed.  Fortunately, my husband has loosened up a bit on the "schedule" thing, and lets us enjoy the more flexible schedule that homeschooling can provide.  So if I teach for a couple hours in the morning, then require a nap, I will put in a Bill Nye video, or something we picked up at the library, or something educational (recently she wanted to learn about the American Revolution, and I found this great PBS series call Liberty's Kids), and she will eat lunch and watch that while I have a nap.  So sometimes we'll still be doing school at 4pm.  But whatever, it's working for us.

Everything I read, I'm more impressed. Seriously. You've learned to manage your kid's homeschooling around narcolepsy? Jeezus on a cracker with some goat cheese and sundried tomatoes.

I do enjoy feeling that I'm doing the best I can for my kid.  At the same time, I know it is taking a bit of a toll on my (mental) health.  But I think it's a fair trade.

Thank you so much. I might have more later. This topic excites me like crazy, and I'm not sure why

[Exian]

Hmm.. Hearing you say that, whatevs, and having a high regard for your opinion, makes me want to reexamine my opinions of common core teaching. A very respected teacher in my district has been very vocal and "on the attack" of the common core curriculum, and the examples I've seen seemed to only make the subjects more confusing. I haven't had to worry too much about it, as my daughters new school doesn't deal with it, largely, but I will read more into it, now that you've vouched.

[Goosebump]

Would you prefer if the local school district had somebody on hand that coordinate d with each month about standards, the paperwork and resources the school had or should provide you? As well as having a kind of 'help line" to call when you needed? Or would this be to intrusive?

[Aroura]

I'm so sorry if I'm being overbearing...  I only mean good things, and I won't take it personally if you tell me I'm being too forward
~snip~

Everything I read, I'm more impressed.  Seriously. You've learned to manage your kid's homeschooling around narcolepsy?  Jeezus on a cracker with some goat cheese and sundried tomatoes.

I need to learn to use the quote function here properly.   

No, you aren't being overbearing, I'm actually feeling really good that so many people are positive about it!  I kind of expected a lot more suspicion and negativity, so all the questions are great.  

I'm no saint or perfect mom or anything, lol.  Narcolepsy is a pain, but with a flexible schedule, I can work around it.  The real challenge there was birth through age 3 or so....narcoleptic with constantly interrupted sleep = near insanity.  I make TONS of mistakes.  I just try and learn from them, and hope I don't screw my kid up too much in the process! lol

Oh, and yeah, if you are 38 and not feeling that clock ticking, then good for you.  I respect people who chose not to have kids, like you.  My husband and I actually made that choice at one point, but failed birth control led to this one thing, and we decided, we could handle one, and I'm glad we did, but I still fear for the future of all our children, you know?
Now we both are fixed, so no more swimmers will be getting anywhere.

Yeah, sometimes I ramble a bit, lol.

Goosebump
___
Would you prefer if the local school district had somebody on hand that coordinate d with each month about standards, the paperwork and resources the school had or should provide you? As well as having a kind of 'help line" to call when you needed? Or would this be to intrusive?

I don't know, I've only been doing this for about 6 months.  Part of me thinks it would be helpful, and part thinks it would be intrusive.  I think that it would be a good thing, in general though, and I wouldn't be opposed to it.  

I like the freedom I have, but I suppose if the school district would take into account where my kid is, and not force her/us backwards, then I'd be more than happy to have to help and resources.  Particularly being secular, there are no local homeshooling support groups I can attend without getting Jesus shoved in our faces, so help would be appreciated.

I belong to an online secular homeschool group, but they are more for me than my daughter.  I find a lot of advice and resources there, and also a feeling that I'm not an island unto myself out here in Jesusland, there are others like my family out there.

After thinking about it, let me phrase it this way (and I'm going to sound like a bit of a douche here, forgive me), but I think more help and oversight form the district would be good, here in Oregon.  I don't think I NEED it (though it would be helpful for those areas I'm like    in), but there are other homeschoolers in my area who do need that kind of oversight.  I think it would help prevent those nightmarish home school events, at the very least.

[rexbeccarox]

Thank you so much, A. Very interesting, forward-thinking, and great stuff.

[Salacious B. Crumb]

I commend you on your decision. I’m sure you are more than qualified. I’m certain you can give her the education she needs, and teach her other things that she’ll never learn in school. I hope it brings you and your daughter closer together. Best wishes!

[Whateverist]

Can I ask you a question then?
Well, a quick statement first.  I do think common core for math is great, I love that kids are learning the concepts behind the math, and not just rote memorization.  I think it's great.
Do you think Khan Academy is a good resource for home schooling, and even classrooms?  I rely a lot on it (not entirely, but a lot), and I know Khan is bringing his site into line with common core, just not sure how well he's done so.

I think Khan is a good way to brush up on something you used to know.  Pedagogically I think it has been too procedure oriented.  Maybe that will or has changed.

[Whateverist]

Hmm.. Hearing you say that, whatevs, and having a high regard for your opinion, makes me want to reexamine my opinions of common core teaching. A very respected teacher in my district has been very vocal and "on the attack" of the common core curriculum, and the examples I've seen seemed to only make the subjects more confusing. I haven't had to worry too much about it, as my daughters new school doesn't deal with it, largely, but I will read more into it, now that you've vouched.

I think a common mistake is to examen a curriculum for the coherence it has to an expert.  What really matters is the coherence it provides to a neophyte.  I'd be interested in what you decide and perhaps there are issues I don't know about at other grade levels, and I know nothing of the English language side.

[Pyrrho]

I have read the entire thread, and there are a couple of questions that I have.

The first question is, why did you decide to do the homeschooling in the first place?  I had rather expected that you might answer that in your opening post, but you do not seem to have done so.


The second question is, why are you planning on putting her back into public school by the 5th grade?  Of course, your answer to the first question might automatically answer this one, depending on what it is.

[Aroura]

I have read the entire thread, and there are a couple of questions that I have.

The first question is, why did you decide to do the homeschooling in the first place?  I had rather expected that you might answer that in your opening post, but you do not seem to have done so.


The second question is, why are you planning on putting her back into public school by the 5th grade?  Of course, your answer to the first question might automatically answer this one, depending on what it is.

I didn't explain because I didn't want to sounds anti-public school.  It's kind of long and complicated, but I will try to sum up.

In kinder and 1st grade, during parent teacher conferences, and from what I saw while volunteering, she wasn't paying attention all the time to the teacher, or to the other kids when they were forced to get up and "explain their thinking".  The teacher even started to throw some "she might be autistic" thoughts at us.  

There were a LOT of problem kids in these large classes, and their method of dealing with them was ineffectual at best, and created more problem kids at worst.   For instance, I saw a neighbor kid, not a problem child, get labeled as such because he was outspoken to the teacher when he thought she was behaving unfairly.  And she was, in the instance I saw. 

The actual problem kids were sent to the "focus room" where the received cookies and gummy bears and toys if they stopped behaving like little monsters. So the next day,of course, they did it again, so they could go get more cookies and gummy bears.  Honestly, they completely rewarded bad behavior.

Because of the number of children unable to sit still for 5 minutes, or stop interrupting the teacher in some way, the teacher would often spend large amounts of time on one concept, idea, or problem, long after most of the students had "got" it, they would continue teaching the whole class until everyone got it.  Here is where my kid was starting to get labeled as inattentive or autistic.  At first, I went along with it, and told her to pay better attention, and I just volunteered more and helped in the class 3 or 4 days a week.  
For 2 years I did that (I really wanted to support public education).  Finally it was a like a lightbulb went on in my head.  She's just BORED, she already understands this, she's not autistic or unable to focus, she just understood this 2 weeks ago, hell 2 months ago, and they are still teaching it for the benefit of the bottom 10% of the class.  I looked around a saw a lot of kids getting labeled as ADHD or autistic or disruptive, when they were bright kids who were just bored! 

So I took her out before the PS system turned her into a problem child.

I intend to put her back because I don't think all public schools are bad.  I myself attended a good middle school and a great high school.
When my husband finally gets his degree and gets a job, we are going to base where we move largely on the public school ratings in the area.  If we can find a decent school at that time, we will put her back.  But there are a lot of ifs there.  Maybe she won't want to go back, but I think she will, at least to try it.  Because of my disability, I'm not sure I'll be a good teacher through harder subjects in middle school or high school, so essentially part of it is lacking faith in myself. Perhaps that too will have changed by the time we get to that point. 

So we intend to put her back into a good PS, but it might not happen.  It's a wait and see how this goes and that goes sort of thing.