I'm actually part of the crew working to decode and translate this ancient text. As you can imagine, this is an exciting time for people with the title of our particular profession. So far we have the following:
"Decapitation is bad. So bad, that you'll be sent to hell, where you'll have to endure, not just 72, but an infinite amount of virgins. No questions asked. Knock it off. This goes for stoning, too. Just don't be a jerk.
Marrying and having sex with children is bad. This really bugs Allah, not that I(pbum) would try to tell Allah what He thinks. Which brings me(pbum) to my(pbum) next point...
Don't pretend to know what God thinks, and under no circumstance, should you be doing the punishing. No exceptions. Stop it. Don't. I'm(pbum) serious.
Don't read too much into this book. It's a book. I know words are powerful and this is a really good way to spread ideas, but use your Allah forsaken head, would ya?
Lastly, I(pbum) don't know what science is. That doesn't come until later, I'm(pbum) told."
So, yeah. Pretty exciting stuff. I'm mean this changes everthing! Someone call ISIS.
"Decapitation is bad. So bad, that you'll be sent to hell, where you'll have to endure, not just 72, but an infinite amount of virgins. No questions asked. Knock it off. This goes for stoning, too. Just don't be a jerk.
Marrying and having sex with children is bad. This really bugs Allah, not that I(pbum) would try to tell Allah what He thinks. Which brings me(pbum) to my(pbum) next point...
Don't pretend to know what God thinks, and under no circumstance, should you be doing the punishing. No exceptions. Stop it. Don't. I'm(pbum) serious.
Don't read too much into this book. It's a book. I know words are powerful and this is a really good way to spread ideas, but use your Allah forsaken head, would ya?
Lastly, I(pbum) don't know what science is. That doesn't come until later, I'm(pbum) told."
So, yeah. Pretty exciting stuff. I'm mean this changes everthing! Someone call ISIS.
I can't remember where this verse is from, I think it got removed from canon:
"I don't hang around with mostly men because I'm gay. It's because men are better than women. Better trained, better equipped...better. Just better! I'm not gay."
For context, this is the previous verse:
"Hi Jesus" -robvalue
"I don't hang around with mostly men because I'm gay. It's because men are better than women. Better trained, better equipped...better. Just better! I'm not gay."
For context, this is the previous verse:
"Hi Jesus" -robvalue
