RE: Dirty Laundry
August 2, 2015 at 9:46 pm
(This post was last modified: August 2, 2015 at 9:57 pm by Regina.)
I think I have to echo what other people are saying here and live your life for you. Your mother is a grown woman, if she can't sort her own shit out it's not always on you to tidy up her mess.
We've just been through a kind of relateable situation. The week we spent in the hospital as my Dad was dying, my Nan was doing too fucking much refusing to eat, snapping at people, waking people up when they got exhausted. Literally an hour before my Dad died (and was very clearly about to go), my one aunt (who I'll call Janina) and my grandmother just started ganging up on my other aunt (who I'll call Maria) and being real nasty. They verbally attacked her in the hospital the morning my Dad was on death's door, and they did it again at the funeral. My Mum is absolutely insulted and refuses to have anything to do with Janina and my Grandmother now, although we've grown closer to Maria because she helped us a lot with the funeral while the others disappeared. We've bonded with Maria a lot over Dad's death, we were never close before. She's cut them off too.
It's only because I have sympathy for her losing her son (every loving parent's worst nightmare, I do ache for her) and because she doesn't have many people in her life that I'm still checking up on my grandmother, but I'm not going out of my way. Janina I haven't spoken to since at all, might again at some point, doubt it. Sometimes you just have to let these people go, if they're being a detriment to you and causing all this drama they have to go. Blood doesn't necessarily make you family, I firmly believe that. Just because we're blood relatives doesn't mean I have to like you, respect everything you do and kiss your ass. Some people might call me a heartless bastard but honestly I don't care, what I've said here about my family is the tip of the ice berg.
If you've genuinely tried to help your mother already and she just won't be helped, give it up. She'll have to go her own way and hopefully one day she'll realise she fucked up big time and change her ways.
We've just been through a kind of relateable situation. The week we spent in the hospital as my Dad was dying, my Nan was doing too fucking much refusing to eat, snapping at people, waking people up when they got exhausted. Literally an hour before my Dad died (and was very clearly about to go), my one aunt (who I'll call Janina) and my grandmother just started ganging up on my other aunt (who I'll call Maria) and being real nasty. They verbally attacked her in the hospital the morning my Dad was on death's door, and they did it again at the funeral. My Mum is absolutely insulted and refuses to have anything to do with Janina and my Grandmother now, although we've grown closer to Maria because she helped us a lot with the funeral while the others disappeared. We've bonded with Maria a lot over Dad's death, we were never close before. She's cut them off too.
It's only because I have sympathy for her losing her son (every loving parent's worst nightmare, I do ache for her) and because she doesn't have many people in her life that I'm still checking up on my grandmother, but I'm not going out of my way. Janina I haven't spoken to since at all, might again at some point, doubt it. Sometimes you just have to let these people go, if they're being a detriment to you and causing all this drama they have to go. Blood doesn't necessarily make you family, I firmly believe that. Just because we're blood relatives doesn't mean I have to like you, respect everything you do and kiss your ass. Some people might call me a heartless bastard but honestly I don't care, what I've said here about my family is the tip of the ice berg.
If you've genuinely tried to help your mother already and she just won't be helped, give it up. She'll have to go her own way and hopefully one day she'll realise she fucked up big time and change her ways.
"Adulthood is like looking both ways before you cross the road, and then getting hit by an airplane" - sarcasm_only
"Ironically like the nativist far-Right, which despises multiculturalism, but benefits from its ideas of difference to scapegoat the other and to promote its own white identity politics; these postmodernists, leftists, feminists and liberals also use multiculturalism, to side with the oppressor, by demanding respect and tolerance for oppression characterised as 'difference', no matter how intolerable." - Maryam Namazie
"Ironically like the nativist far-Right, which despises multiculturalism, but benefits from its ideas of difference to scapegoat the other and to promote its own white identity politics; these postmodernists, leftists, feminists and liberals also use multiculturalism, to side with the oppressor, by demanding respect and tolerance for oppression characterised as 'difference', no matter how intolerable." - Maryam Namazie
