(August 2, 2015 at 10:30 pm)MTL Wrote:(August 2, 2015 at 9:44 pm)Parkers Tan Wrote: Your choice seems to be between your mother's misery and yours.
This is exactly accurate. I said it to my Dad, at one point,
Mom is making me choose between:
A) Knowing that I made my mother happy...by remaining in her clutches...even though she's ruining my life
B) Getting some peace, and keeping my sanity and self-respect, by walking away from her...even though I will feel like a failure and a deserter.
But you went on,
(August 2, 2015 at 9:44 pm)Parkers Tan Wrote: You aren't insisting on misery -- she is.
Act accordingly.
...and this is very true. I have to struggle to remember this part. She is putting the stick in my hand.
It's difficult, no doubt. I sure didn't mean to make it sound like a snap decision; but at the end of the day, it's your life on replay as you die, it's hers on replay as she dies, and you can only own your own feelings. You cannot own hers. She is laying upon you a burden you ought not carry, and in my uninformed opinion, it seems intentional. To buy into that is a form of sacrificing your own happiness, with little guarantee of assuring hers.
I'm sorry if my words seem too blunt on what is doubtless a delicate subject for you, but letting someone else own your life, even your own mother, with no obvious benefit to either of you strikes me as pointless.
My sympathies for your situation; it seems like a shit sandwich all the way around.
