Do you care about your significant other's sexual past?

[Pyrrho]

Sex is a big part of romantic relationships.  Prior to birth control, saving it until marriage might make sense just because of the risk.  But, I can't imagine why saving it until the attachment is permanent would be a good idea now.  Sex is an important part of bonding (besides being fun) and finding out what kind of sex partner they are before committing is a very good idea.

Religion aside, I still think saving sex for marriage is still a better option... for practical reasons.

It is the only 100%, for sure way of avoiding pregnancy out of wedlock

If one is worried about that, one can just have oral sex and things like that.  Not every sexual act risks pregnancy.  

Additionally, proper use of birth control, particularly in combination, can make the risk very small.  (By "in combination," I mean like using both birth control pills and condoms, for example, so that both would have to fail in order for a pregnancy to occur.  Both have a better than 90% success rate, and so the likelihood of a pregnancy when carefully using both is very, very small.)

and decreasing the spread of STDs.

Everyone can be tested first.  Granted, many people are careless and hence we do have STDs around, but just because others don't bother to get tested, that does not mean that you and your partner can't get tested first.

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While hormonal birth control has a very small failure rate for pregnancy, it is still not healthy for a woman's body to be pumped up with synthetic hormones for decades at a time.... And it does nothing to prevent STDs. Barrier contraceptives (condoms, diaphragm, etc) are not harmful in any way, but they are less reliable in avoiding pregnancy, and don't protect 100% from STDs either.   

It just seems objectively better to have less sexual partners, and to wait until you are in a life long commitment.

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I get the argument about sexual compatibility, but I'd say that you can get a pretty good sense of someone's sexuality through making out and good, honest communication about it.

Although I agree that one can get a pretty good sense of someone's sexuality without having sex, it seems like a good idea to try it before making a lifetime commitment.  Because if you are wrong, you then have a lifetime of bad sex, or you break your commitment.  Neither of those seem like good options.

That, by the way, need not necessitate having sex with anyone other than the person you intend to marry; you and your prospective partner could both be virgins beforehand, if you wish.  Then if the sex is good, you go ahead and get married as planned.  If, after several tries, it isn't any good, then you can part without a divorce.


Of course, you should live your life as you please, as long as you are not hurting anyone else.  And certainly, if you don't want to have sex with someone, you ought not do so.