Do you care about your significant other's sexual past?

[Catholic_Lady]

I also enjoy talking about sex a great deal, particularly with women. Let me tell you a true story and something that can result from the 'wait until marriage' approach. So this comes from a woman I dated a few years back. She used to be married and had only had sex with her husband and while she was married she never or almost never had an orgasm. She just thought she was someone who was difficult to get off, that it was the biochemistry in her. After 5 or 6 years she ended up divorced and gets together with a guy and has sex with him. She gets off several times with him and thinks 'wow, there is something special about this guy.' She gets in a relationship with him that eventually doesn't work and ends up meeting another person. So around this time she's about 30 and this is the third person she's slept with. Anyway, she has multiple orgasms with that guy. As it turns out she was a very orgasmic person and her original Christian husband just didn't know what he was doing and blamed it on her. Now she's a much happier and kinkier person, rather than trapped in a relationship that never would have been sexually satisfying.

That's unfortunate.

To me though, that's just underlying of a much deeper issue in the marriage. A more loving, committed husband would listen to his wife and keep working at trying to satisfy her and trying new things, doing research, etc. Communication is very important too... perhaps she was being open to him about her needs, perhaps she wasn't.

Of course, waiting until marriage isn't a magical thing in and of itself, on it's own. It's the love and commitment and self gift to each other. If those are not present, then saving sex for marriage, by itself, isn't going to do anything for you either way.