Do you care about your significant other's sexual past?

[thesummerqueen]

I'm right there with you and for many of the same reasons.  It's not that sex without BDSM is bad.  It's just that like color TV it's much better than black and white.  Unlike TV choice though, not everyone agrees about the beauty of BDSM or which or all of BDSM roles they would like to take.

I think it's less of a difference between "color" and "black and white" and more like different genres. BDSM frequently involves many of the same mechanisms that make people enjoy horror or actions movies: adrenaline, controlled fear, etc. Some people might prefer romance or dramas. Some might like quirky indie films. No worries. I never bitch at people who like really spicy food just because I don't - but I will use that analogy for why I like pain.

The point is, I think Catholic_Lady might have a less than nuanced view of exactly how strongly sexuality and sexual urges affect people - particularly fetishes and fantasy. Love isn't a cure-all. There's no reason to feel ashamed about trying things with people other than the person you end up committed to. Your love and your sex aren't commodities that diminish or lose value simply for having shared them with other people.