Now, having said all that,
I don’t want to meet trouble halfway;
But if all of this still doesn’t do the trick,
THEN it will be time to ask her some hard questions:
“ Grandma,
1. I need to know if you are going to consider it impossible to have a relationship with me,
if I NEVER convert to Catholicism?
2. Conversely, I need to know if the ONLY way you can have a relationship with me,
is to continue to relentlessly pursue this issue…so long as I remain an Atheist? “
If she is willing to accept that you will never convert,
AND she is willing to drop it and not bring it up again,
You can still have a relationship.
If she is NOT willing to accept that you will never convert,
Then it logically follows that she will continue to harass you for the rest of her life,
And it will then be up to YOU to decide if you think that is worth tolerating,
For the sake of keeping a relationship alive, with her
(even though it could not really be considered a “healthy” relationship, at that point).
If you decide that you can tolerate it….good luck to you.
You are a stronger and more tolerant person than I am.
But if you decide that you cannot, should not, and will not tolerate this boundaries being violated,
and realize you feel you have no choice but to end the relationship,
THEN there is another important question you MIGHT need, to ask of Grandma,
Depending on the type of psyche you have:
3. “ Grandma, are you are going to hold ME responsible for the disintegration of our relationship,
if I refuse to convert to Catholicism, and also refuse tolerate continuing harassment about it? “
If she says “no, I realize it takes two to tango”
then kudos to her for at least owning her half of the responsibility for the breakdown of the relationship.
At that point, you can express your regret at having to part company,
and leave with at least the closure that she acknowledges
that you are not being treated as if you are solely responsible for the breakdown of the relationship,
Simply because you enforced your boundaries.
Now, you might be the kind of person who doesn’t need to address this issue;
But if you are the kind of person who is affected when unfairly blamed for everything,
then addressing this step will at least perhaps give you the sense
that she didn’t completely get away with this unfairness, unnoticed
…it sends the message that you know that she might try to blame you for everything,
but that you know it’s bullshit….you know perfectly well you didn’t deserve any of this,
…and now you know, that she knows, that you know!
I don’t want to meet trouble halfway;
But if all of this still doesn’t do the trick,
THEN it will be time to ask her some hard questions:
“ Grandma,
1. I need to know if you are going to consider it impossible to have a relationship with me,
if I NEVER convert to Catholicism?
2. Conversely, I need to know if the ONLY way you can have a relationship with me,
is to continue to relentlessly pursue this issue…so long as I remain an Atheist? “
If she is willing to accept that you will never convert,
AND she is willing to drop it and not bring it up again,
You can still have a relationship.
If she is NOT willing to accept that you will never convert,
Then it logically follows that she will continue to harass you for the rest of her life,
And it will then be up to YOU to decide if you think that is worth tolerating,
For the sake of keeping a relationship alive, with her
(even though it could not really be considered a “healthy” relationship, at that point).
If you decide that you can tolerate it….good luck to you.
You are a stronger and more tolerant person than I am.
But if you decide that you cannot, should not, and will not tolerate this boundaries being violated,
and realize you feel you have no choice but to end the relationship,
THEN there is another important question you MIGHT need, to ask of Grandma,
Depending on the type of psyche you have:
3. “ Grandma, are you are going to hold ME responsible for the disintegration of our relationship,
if I refuse to convert to Catholicism, and also refuse tolerate continuing harassment about it? “
If she says “no, I realize it takes two to tango”
then kudos to her for at least owning her half of the responsibility for the breakdown of the relationship.
At that point, you can express your regret at having to part company,
and leave with at least the closure that she acknowledges
that you are not being treated as if you are solely responsible for the breakdown of the relationship,
Simply because you enforced your boundaries.
Now, you might be the kind of person who doesn’t need to address this issue;
But if you are the kind of person who is affected when unfairly blamed for everything,
then addressing this step will at least perhaps give you the sense
that she didn’t completely get away with this unfairness, unnoticed
…it sends the message that you know that she might try to blame you for everything,
but that you know it’s bullshit….you know perfectly well you didn’t deserve any of this,
…and now you know, that she knows, that you know!
