What to say to Grandma?

[Pyrrho]

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MTL, if her grandmother cannot handle the truth, then cosmowanderer has already made a mistake in telling her grandmother that she is an atheist.  If her grandmother is made of porcelain and will break, then keeping her atheism to herself would have been best.  So, assuming that it was not a mistake to tell her grandmother that she is an atheist, I would (if I were in her situation) talk to her whenever she brings up the topic.  And if my grandmother could not handle such things, I never would have told her in the first place.  Doing this sort of thing halfway is generally a recipe for a bad outcome, a constant source of vexation for all concerned.

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Pyrrho,

I just went back and read the OP and I saw nothing indicating that cosmowanderer ever told her grandmother that she was an atheist.

In fact, she repeatedly states how she avoids such topics, and even declines to respond to baiting.

Her grandmother found out somehow (see post #10), so if her grandmother is too fragile for conversation about it, she did not do a good enough job keeping her atheism a secret.

When one tells people things, one cannot untell them, and one cannot stop them from telling whoever they wish to tell.  Those facts should always be kept in mind before one chooses to start telling people things.

Since the cat is out of the bag, I would engage her grandmother in conversation about it.  Others, of course, may act as they wish, and certainly she should think about the specifics of her situation when deciding what to do.

I don't think the problem is going to go away on its own.  Sometimes, it is good to have unpleasant conversations sooner rather than later, and then if her grandmother decides that she does not want to talk about it, she can stop bringing it up.

At this point, cosmowanderer does not have the option of keeping her opinion about god to herself, as that is already known by her grandmother.

Of course, she could start pretending that she is a theist again, but I would not normally recommend that.  But, of course, it all depends on all of the specific details.