What to say to Grandma?

[MTL]

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Pyrrho,

I just went back and read the OP and I saw nothing indicating that cosmowanderer ever told her grandmother that she was an atheist.

In fact, she repeatedly states how she avoids such topics, and even declines to respond to baiting.

Her grandmother found out somehow (see post #10), so if her grandmother is too fragile for conversation about it, she did not do a good enough job keeping her atheism a secret.

When one tells people things, one cannot untell them, and one cannot stop them from telling whoever they wish to tell.  Those facts should always be kept in mind before one chooses to start telling people things.

Since the cat is out of the bag, I would engage her grandmother in conversation about it.  Others, of course, may act as they wish, and certainly she should think about the specifics of her situation when deciding what to do.

I don't think the problem is going to go away on its own.  Sometimes, it is good to have unpleasant conversations sooner rather than later, and then if her grandmother decides that she does not want to talk about it, she can stop bringing it up.

At this point, cosmowanderer does not have the option of keeping her opinion about god to herself, as that is already known by her grandmother.

Of course, she could start pretending that she is a theist again, but I would not normally recommend that.  But, of course, it all depends on all of the specific details.

Just because her grandmother found out her granddaughter is an atheist still doesn't mean that said granddaughter is obliged to discuss the matter.  She said she dodges the issue, so, as per my initial post, I suggest that she simply draw a line in the sand and insist that her grandmother respect it.

If she WANTS to engage her grandmother on the subject, by all means, she should do so.

I recommend against it, having battled my own family on the subject for decades.

But my point was, she doesn't owe her grandmother an explanation of her spiritual choices,
she is not obliged to put up with harassment if she doesn't want to discuss the issue.

Yes, by post #10 she had decided to offer a discussion on the matter to her grandmother,
but only after being pressured by grandma...initially, she wanted to tell grandma to "back off" without making her feel "attacked".


She asked for our input....that is my input.