How would you react to a gay person who found you TOTALLY repulsive ?

[Pyrrho]

I slightly disagree with what you have stated.  I think in the case of something put out for public display, like a movie, it is fine for people to express negative opinions of it.  But the personal appearance of people who do not put themselves on public display, is a matter that is normally best left alone.  Just to be clear, going to the store to get a loaf of bread, although one is then in public, is not what I mean by being out for public display.  One is then out for a loaf of bread, not someone shouting "look at me!" to the world, as is effectively being done when one makes a movie.  If someone chooses to be the focus of public attention, different rules apply than to those who do not make that choice.

That IS what I said:

" B)  You're a professional movie/art/food critic, opinion columnist, or Judge, and it's your job to pass an opinion on that specific thing "

The difference is, most of us are not professional critics.  Still, we are right to say that a movie sucks when it sucks.  That is because the filmmakers put the thing out publicly for us to see.

Additionally, being a professional critic would not justify rude comments about the appearance of private people who have not put themselves out in the public limelight.  Even if someone hired them specifically to do that.  They should refuse such a job, as it would be inherently rude.

So what I am saying is that it is not the profession of the person who is making the comment that matters.  It is the profession and activities of the person (or thing) being described that matters.

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(IE: movie critics can criticize movies....they may not criticize passerby on the sidewalk)

I was not in any way suggesting that just because you might be a movie critic that it means it's okay for you to insult people for no reason.

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However, you make me think of a slightly different case:

you said,

 Just to be clear, going to the store to get a loaf of bread, although one is then in public, is not what I mean by being out for public display.  One is then out for a loaf of bread, not someone shouting "look at me!" to the world, as is effectively being done when one makes a movie.  If someone chooses to be the focus of public attention, different rules apply than to those who do not make that choice.

(Bold is mine).

What is your opinion, then, of someone who is simply stepping out to the store for a loaf of bread,
but instead of dressing in conformity with the social norm,
they dress in an "aesthetically aggressive" manner....like Lady Gaga, let's say?

Many would opine that such a person is still minding their own business, and still deserves respect,
(as long as her manner of dress doesn't include a t-shirt espousing hate crimes, or anything)

but many, MANY people see such individuals as being guilty of, as you put it,

shouting "look at me!"

...and therefore consider them fair game for ridicule, or praise, or simply comment.

I think shouting rude comments to them is rude, no matter how they dress.  Granted, some ways of dressing will draw some attention, but if they want your opinion, they can ask for it.  If they ask for it, then it is fine to give it.  If they do not, then I think it is inappropriate to be rude to them.

By the way, I hate the way many people dress, and do not like green hair and other such things, but I do not tell people I encounter on the street what I think of their appearance.  Not being a total asshole, I keep my opinion to myself when I encounter someone who dresses in a way I regard as hideous, ridiculous, stupid, or whatever.


As a practical matter, I would advise people not to dress provocatively if they do not want to hear the opinions of assholes, but the assholes should be keeping their opinions to themselves.  But being assholes, they often won't.  That is one of the things that makes them assholes.


In fact, I remember a friend from many years ago, who told me that one time when she had dyed her hair green, someone threw a beer bottle at her.  And indicated in speech that the "reason" for doing so was her hair color.  Although I think leaving her hair natural would be far more attractive, there is no excuse for what that person did.  Nor should the person offer an unsolicited opinion on her choice of hair color.



While I am at it, there is a difference between a general comment, like:

I do not like green hair.

posted here, or stated in a general conversation (in the absence of anyone with green hair at that moment), and a comment directed at a specific individual:

Your hair is hideous because you dyed it green.

directed at someone who did not ask for the opinion.

As an aside, my friend who once had green hair did not appear to be offended by any of my comments on the subject, even though I told her I do not like green hair.  It was in the context of her telling me about the beer bottle and asking my opinion about things.  So in that case, she asked for my opinion, and also my comment was general, as she did not have green hair at the time we were discussing the matter, so my comments were general, with me saying I do not like hair to be dyed green.  It was not specific about her particular appearance (and in any case, she asked me about it, so it would be a different matter anyway than just shouting to some passerby about their appearance).


I recommend that you do not dye your hair green, but you are certainly free to decide that for yourself, and if you do dye your hair green, no one should be rude to you because of it.  Of course, if you encounter an asshole, you might encounter someone who is rude to you about it.



So, since you asked for my opinion above, I have given it to you.