Atheists interpret bible verses

[Crossless2.0]

“It was fun because I have a great luxury that I'm a professional liar — that's what a storyteller is. Or at least that’s what I try to be. It's the one socially acceptable way to completely deceive people, and that's what they want." - Neil Fallon of Clutch

Your gospel writers are storytellers.

I've been reading stories for almost half a century, but I've never read a story with more discrepancies as found in the Bible. Just think, if a biblical writer had written The Cat in the Hat, some versions would say it was raining and some would say it was snowing. The fish in the bowl would be open to interpretation as a bird in a cage. And the cat himself will have a tie rather than a hat in an age where hats are frowned upon.

Yeah, I'm relieved that the Biblical authors weren't around to fuck up some of my childhood favorites. Green Eggs and Bitter Herbs would have sucked. The boy from I Wish That I Had Duck Feet probably would have drowned in a flood. I shudder to imagine what they would have done to Brer Rabbit.