hi, i'm jesus.

[robvalue]

Well, if you're at all serious about this stuff, it sounds like you're suffering from some kind of mental illness or PTSD and I'd advise seeking professional help. The symptoms of such things commonly draw on the mythology that surrounds us. The brain uses what it knows. Sadly many religious people talk exactly like they are mentally ill and this is socially acceptable, so it's hard for people like me on the outside to tell the difference.

I don't know if it helps, but Christianity is nonsense. It has nothing to do with reality. The evidence that there even was a "Jesus" is incredibly weak, even for the human being, as there are no first hand sources. If there was such a person, he was just a guy preaching stuff.