Unromantic Atheism?

[thesummerqueen]

It goes without saying that most people are capable love. And I'm certainly capable of romantic gestures. But I'm not comfortable with the thought of having romantic feelings or sentiment. I simply don't have the faith required to believe that love can fix everything. Or even most things.

I was aware of that before I was an atheist, though.

Define romance.

Is it Romeo and Juliet? Because that was a couple of shitty teenagers acting like brats.

I always think of romance as making someone feel happy and special - the center of your attention for a time. And none of that requires you to have faith or anything that contradicts with atheism or fall prey to the idea that it will solve anything.

People get mixed up when they talk about love and romance because they don't like to talk about the work required to maintain relationships of any sort - much of which requires letting go of your pride and humbling yourself as well as the complex nitty-gritty of negotiating and compromising.

The most romantic things done for me lately were: 1) the way I was treated during sex, where he was very slow and careful about removing my stockings and 2) when he was listening to me go on about something and actually listened and responded appropriately.

They weren't romantic because of anything having to do with beliefs. They were romantic because in the first, he had taken the time to notice my outfit and the fragility of parts of it, so he was respectful of my belongings and person (plus slow=anticipation) and 2) because the way he responded expressed appreciation for my personality and insight. It feels good to know that someone thinks that you - the real you, not some ideal they hold of you in their head which will inevitably be destroyed - is just neat to be around.

Anyone practicing romance on their partners isn't doing it because of religion. They're doing it because they want to make that person feel as special as they find them in that moment. If anything atheism could be considered more romantic than religion, because you don't believe that some deity brought you together. You can marvel at the chances of you two meeting each other out of the what, 7 billion people? on this planet and appreciate the work you two have done to come to whatever point you're at - overcoming insecurities, taking time out of each other's day to be together, the effort put into doing things with that particular person in mind, etc. None of that influenced by another power.