It's weird for me to think about this again, but when I was younger I was even an Altar Boy. I tried to make myself accept all this stuff in a serious literal way. One day though, I think the literal interpretation of all this stuff, kind of like every screw up being recorded in a ledger to be used against me, and of finally the ultimate threat of Hell. I think internally I finally made a choice that I just couldn't live like that and afterward the grip of religion on me gradually loosened.
The whole thing is a pain in the ass because the only person I've told is my brother. He still thinks there must be a God, but he is more of a Deist I guess. My dad oddly enough never went to Church, but my mom was and still is hardcore "Irish" Catholic so I've never told her I doubt religion and have even gone to some religious things like Christmas Mass out of politeness even though I honestly think it's all so boring.
Curiously, I think this has also resulted in me moving away from Christian Conservatism. That's partly why I signed up to a site like this to hear diverse and skeptical opinions. I live in America and when I see serious candidates like Rick Santorum it freaks me out. Or anytime in politics I hear the rhetoric that this is a Christian nation and if I don't like it I should leave. Sometimes, I do consider going Expatriate if I could ever afford a move like that.
As for beliefs now, I feel I'm kind of a Sam Harris type of Atheist. I have a spiritual side and see value in things like Secular Meditation.
The whole thing is a pain in the ass because the only person I've told is my brother. He still thinks there must be a God, but he is more of a Deist I guess. My dad oddly enough never went to Church, but my mom was and still is hardcore "Irish" Catholic so I've never told her I doubt religion and have even gone to some religious things like Christmas Mass out of politeness even though I honestly think it's all so boring.
Curiously, I think this has also resulted in me moving away from Christian Conservatism. That's partly why I signed up to a site like this to hear diverse and skeptical opinions. I live in America and when I see serious candidates like Rick Santorum it freaks me out. Or anytime in politics I hear the rhetoric that this is a Christian nation and if I don't like it I should leave. Sometimes, I do consider going Expatriate if I could ever afford a move like that.
As for beliefs now, I feel I'm kind of a Sam Harris type of Atheist. I have a spiritual side and see value in things like Secular Meditation.
