Absence

[Thumpalumpacus]

Sorry I wasn't able to address this last night, my phone was not my friend, so here goes --

Please make sure that you've got adequate stress relief for yourself. Emotional trauma has a bad way of showing up in your health profile. And as much as possible, make sure you're eating well, sleeping well, and getting some exercise.

Take care of yourself, brotha.  You need it. You gotta be there if you want to be there for her.

Truer words were never spoken.  This is what I meant in my first post about being a leader of the house and family is difficult.  It takes an immense toll on me.  I keep reminding myself that I've been through worse before and came out stronger and this too is just another trial.  I'm called to be the steady foundation for those around me.  I can't carry their burdens for them, but I can certainly help carry.  Thank you for the reminder Thump because it is very important for me to not sacrifice my own well being.  I'm doing well with it.  My sister is trying to get in to a semblance of a routine and she has started seeing a therapist and is reconnecting with old friends from here which will certainly help her.  She still cries every night and has so many questions.  She actually has an interview with a law firm (she's an experienced paralegal) next week.  Having my kids around both helps and hurts.  She needs the innocence and laughter a child can bring, but at the same time it's a horrific reminder of her loss.  I'm proud of how well she is holding together and each day seems to get better but I know there will still be peaks and valleys and all I can do is remind that every step of the way I will be right beside her.

This is a loss that she will live with the rest of her life. The best you can do is be a solid shoulder for those times when she is weak. There will be peaks and valleys for you, too -- some days your generous heart will make promises that on other days your tired mind will want to disavow. I can tell you here to "be strong", but what the hell does that mean anyway?

You've got a good heart, KP. I know you'll know what the right thing is.