You've been missed, brotha. May y'all land on your feet and better off for it.

(February 10, 2016 at 11:06 am)Kingpin Wrote: Thanks all.  Yeah these last few months have been some of the toughest.  Step father's conviction, loss of my business and lawsuit causing sever financial burden and now this.  As they say, "This too shall pass".  one thing I know is I've endured far worse and come out better on the other side.  That's the message I keep pressing to everyone.  My sister is really struggling.  Those boys were her world.  She feels totally lost.  She's confused, wounded and honestly wants to die.  It's hard to watch and difficult to find the right things to say.  It's going to be a long process.

You hang in there. I hope once you're able to get her moved up there with you, that you can find a counselor or a therapist for her. She needs to be able to deal with the loss and have someone outside of family to talk to. I wish I had you as a brother when I was growing up. I really have a lot of respect for you and the role you've taken.

You have support here if you need to talk to someone.

(February 10, 2016 at 11:06 am)Kingpin Wrote: Thanks all.  Yeah these last few months have been some of the toughest.  Step father's conviction, loss of my business and lawsuit causing sever financial burden and now this.  As they say, "This too shall pass".  one thing I know is I've endured far worse and come out better on the other side.  That's the message I keep pressing to everyone.  My sister is really struggling.  Those boys were her world.  She feels totally lost.  She's confused, wounded and honestly wants to die.  It's hard to watch and difficult to find the right things to say.  It's going to be a long process.

Sorry I wasn't able to address this last night, my phone was not my friend, so here goes --

Please make sure that you've got adequate stress relief for yourself. Emotional trauma has a bad way of showing up in your health profile. And as much as possible, make sure you're eating well, sleeping well, and getting some exercise.

Take care of yourself, brotha. You need it. You gotta be there if you want to be there for her.

Hey King, just echoing all that everyone has expressed. I can't imagine what you all are going through. Please take care of yourself.

Hugs.

(February 11, 2016 at 10:58 am)Thumpalumpacus Wrote:

(February 10, 2016 at 11:06 am)Kingpin Wrote: Thanks all.  Yeah these last few months have been some of the toughest.  Step father's conviction, loss of my business and lawsuit causing sever financial burden and now this.  As they say, "This too shall pass".  one thing I know is I've endured far worse and come out better on the other side.  That's the message I keep pressing to everyone.  My sister is really struggling.  Those boys were her world.  She feels totally lost.  She's confused, wounded and honestly wants to die.  It's hard to watch and difficult to find the right things to say.  It's going to be a long process.

Sorry I wasn't able to address this last night, my phone was not my friend, so here goes --

Please make sure that you've got adequate stress relief for yourself. Emotional trauma has a bad way of showing up in your health profile. And as much as possible, make sure you're eating well, sleeping well, and getting some exercise.

Take care of yourself, brotha.  You need it. You gotta be there if you want to be there for her.

Truer words were never spoken.  This is what I meant in my first post about being a leader of the house and family is difficult.  It takes an immense toll on me.  I keep reminding myself that I've been through worse before and came out stronger and this too is just another trial.  I'm called to be the steady foundation for those around me.  I can't carry their burdens for them, but I can certainly help carry.  Thank you for the reminder Thump because it is very important for me to not sacrifice my own well being.  I'm doing well with it.  My sister is trying to get in to a semblance of a routine and she has started seeing a therapist and is reconnecting with old friends from here which will certainly help her.  She still cries every night and has so many questions.  She actually has an interview with a law firm (she's an experienced paralegal) next week.  Having my kids around both helps and hurts.  She needs the innocence and laughter a child can bring, but at the same time it's a horrific reminder of her loss.  I'm proud of how well she is holding together and each day seems to get better but I know there will still be peaks and valleys and all I can do is remind that every step of the way I will be right beside her.

You're a wonderful man, KP.

(February 10, 2016 at 10:21 am)Kingpin Wrote: Sorry I've been incommunicado for the last few weeks.  The last 4-5 months for my family has been traumatic.  A few weeks back I had to leave for a family emergency.  Received a call from my sister in Texas, that her son and husband died.  I'm not going to get in to all of the details of it but over last few weeks we've been moving her up to Michigan to live with us.  As you can imagine she is an absolute wreck.  It's taking a toll on all of us, but we will get through it together.  My time on here will be sporadic but I'm sure you all understand.  I know there have been people asking about me and concerned so I just wanted to take a moment to let you know that I personally am well just having to be a strong figure for a lot of hurt people right now.  Man of the house and man of the family is a difficult role folks.

I am so sorry to hear of this.

Take care of your family. 

This forum is trivial compared to what you and your family are going through.

(February 12, 2016 at 9:47 am)Kingpin Wrote:

(February 11, 2016 at 10:58 am)Thumpalumpacus Wrote: Sorry I wasn't able to address this last night, my phone was not my friend, so here goes --

Please make sure that you've got adequate stress relief for yourself. Emotional trauma has a bad way of showing up in your health profile. And as much as possible, make sure you're eating well, sleeping well, and getting some exercise.

Take care of yourself, brotha.  You need it. You gotta be there if you want to be there for her.

Truer words were never spoken.  This is what I meant in my first post about being a leader of the house and family is difficult.  It takes an immense toll on me.  I keep reminding myself that I've been through worse before and came out stronger and this too is just another trial.  I'm called to be the steady foundation for those around me.  I can't carry their burdens for them, but I can certainly help carry.  Thank you for the reminder Thump because it is very important for me to not sacrifice my own well being.  I'm doing well with it.  My sister is trying to get in to a semblance of a routine and she has started seeing a therapist and is reconnecting with old friends from here which will certainly help her.  She still cries every night and has so many questions.  She actually has an interview with a law firm (she's an experienced paralegal) next week.  Having my kids around both helps and hurts.  She needs the innocence and laughter a child can bring, but at the same time it's a horrific reminder of her loss.  I'm proud of how well she is holding together and each day seems to get better but I know there will still be peaks and valleys and all I can do is remind that every step of the way I will be right beside her.

This is a loss that she will live with the rest of her life. The best you can do is be a solid shoulder for those times when she is weak. There will be peaks and valleys for you, too -- some days your generous heart will make promises that on other days your tired mind will want to disavow. I can tell you here to "be strong", but what the hell does that mean anyway?

You've got a good heart, KP. I know you'll know what the right thing is.

Looking after yourself is indeed vitally important, even within the overall goal of looking after others. If you get worn down and can't function, you can't help anybody.

We're all behind you buddy.