Cognitive dissonance

[robvalue]

OK. Well, I can't speak for others, but I have no illusion that I'll live forever. I'm perfectly at peace with the idea that I'm going to die. I've had people before tell me, "No you're not!". I don't know what more I can say. I don't feel I have any dissonance around that subject. The same goes for loved ones who die, I keep them alive in my memory, but I know their literal existence has ended. I grieve properly, and come to terms with them only being memories.

I have heard that pretending people "don't really die" can actually be very unhealthy, and that it can stunt the grieving process. It leaves the mind in a kind of limbo where the person is still alive in some way, and so the brain can't move on. I've seen this first hand as well, one of my friends who lost a loved one is basically completely wrecked and can't function because they are obsessed with the idea of them still "being here".

I'm no expert on grieving, so I can only go by my personal experience and things I have heard. I can understand the idea that living in a fantasy land makes things superficially easier, but in the case of death, I'm suspicious that it's really beneficial in the long term. If you personally think grieving is in some way a bad thing in itself, then I can't argue with that.