Advice on not being sarcastic plus other things

[Losty]

I don't know how to tell adults to keep their hands to themselves without sounding like a sarcastic patronizing asshole. Halp.

Highlight the absurdity by mentioning you don't want to come across as a sarcastic patronizing asshole, it'll probably get most of them on your side. And the ones that don't probably need to be patronised.

I did something like this. I said I felt stupid trying to tell them how to do their jobs, so I'd rather if they tell me how they do their jobs and then maybe we could all brainstorm ways to make sure no one gets hurt.

They seemed happy with that in every group. It was a good day. After hearing from all the teachers and parapros in behavioral classes, I am not at all I pleased that I never got into a job like that.