Hello, I need help =(

[JohnDG]

Hi my name is John D. Garcia, im 19 and ive only recently accepted the fact that i am a non-believer if not athiest. I have always been told to believe in god and to be a good person for him because we are his servents. Perhaps the reason i lost my faith (as my friend puts it) is because of the tough life i have been forced to live, and a large number of churches and religions i was forced to participate in or respect. Growing up i was forced along with my sister and cousin to endure sometimes unspeakable atrocities, ive had almost every home, every thing ive owned taken from me more than 7 times i can remember. Ive had friends and family betray, beat and rob me. Ive lived by myself at the ages of 9, 14, and 18(twice abandoned). My dads been in prison my whole life, my mom is a gold digging whore who wants nothing to do wtih me and my sister (who is becoming like her). To make it all short, ive had a fucked up life and i find the fairy tale of jesus and god very unbelievable. And if there so happens to be a god, and a heaven and hell. I would much rather go to hell because i would atleast understand why the devil would treat me so horribly. For a long while i had a shred of hope that their was a god and a better place, but after reading some of the bible, listening to people talk about god and how great he is, i realized its all just wishful thinking, i mightaswell believe in the tooth fairy. After moving from the state of Arizona to California this year, ive finaly found a place i can continue my education and live comfertably without worry, the only thing is, the people i live with are very religous and are under the pretense that i believe in god. I feel trapt and alone because it seems i can't escape religion and i dont want to lose a home again. Should i tell them? or is it better to live a lie, than alone?