Good. I think philosophy has been and still is bad for me.
I wonder sometimes if it is a coincidence that my mental health improved greatly when I took a two year break from philosophy... And maybe it's a bad thing that I am starting to show interest in it again.
I am sure it isn't bad for everyone. But I am also sure that it is bad for me. But I can't explain why or that it isn't just a coincidence so my brain distrusts that sureness and keeps reading philosophy
I think the only way out is "Fuck it. Fuck this. I don't have to explain everything. Even if I am slightly less rational for not justify everything this intensely perfectionistic rationality at least isn't reasonable or rational in a practical sense. FUCK OFF MR. NEEDS A REASON FOR EVERYTHING GET OUT OF MY TURTLEY BRAIN!"
Fuck it! (Shall I fuck it?) Shall I just give it a shot and try to see what happens if I allow my intuition access? I normally repress my intuition because I feel that it is wishy-washy irrational bullshit and reminds me of a theist or "faith". I always feel like if intuition cannot even know when it itself is existent in my brain then how can I trust it if it might not even be present.
BUT FUCK IT I am gonna try and be intuitive. Whatever that is. I cant even explain to myself or know whether I am succeeding in being intuitive or not.
Okay... Right... What I will do is trust that I know something FIRST, try to justify it AFTERWARDS but when I fail to justify it I won't lose my belief that I am right because I should trust my intuition.
I wonder sometimes if it is a coincidence that my mental health improved greatly when I took a two year break from philosophy... And maybe it's a bad thing that I am starting to show interest in it again.
I am sure it isn't bad for everyone. But I am also sure that it is bad for me. But I can't explain why or that it isn't just a coincidence so my brain distrusts that sureness and keeps reading philosophy
I think the only way out is "Fuck it. Fuck this. I don't have to explain everything. Even if I am slightly less rational for not justify everything this intensely perfectionistic rationality at least isn't reasonable or rational in a practical sense. FUCK OFF MR. NEEDS A REASON FOR EVERYTHING GET OUT OF MY TURTLEY BRAIN!"
Fuck it! (Shall I fuck it?) Shall I just give it a shot and try to see what happens if I allow my intuition access? I normally repress my intuition because I feel that it is wishy-washy irrational bullshit and reminds me of a theist or "faith". I always feel like if intuition cannot even know when it itself is existent in my brain then how can I trust it if it might not even be present.
BUT FUCK IT I am gonna try and be intuitive. Whatever that is. I cant even explain to myself or know whether I am succeeding in being intuitive or not.
Okay... Right... What I will do is trust that I know something FIRST, try to justify it AFTERWARDS but when I fail to justify it I won't lose my belief that I am right because I should trust my intuition.
