I'd say being able to forgive someone is always to my advantage but not always attainable. Sometimes I can't do it. Sometimes I can only do it if the other side shows sincere recognition of how they transgressed and express regret. But I will try to see the situation from both sides and to try hard not to hold them to some ideal standard. (I've stopped expecting/demanding perfection from others.)
If the person is important to me, like my wife, I'll look hard to find my own culpability when I feel put upon, and at least try to recognize the same temptation/inclination in myself. When I was younger I was less realistic and demanded more from both myself and others. I'm definitely better off for having recognized what a self-righteous prig I'd started out at. Change can be good. Recognizing a lost cause too.
If the person is important to me, like my wife, I'll look hard to find my own culpability when I feel put upon, and at least try to recognize the same temptation/inclination in myself. When I was younger I was less realistic and demanded more from both myself and others. I'm definitely better off for having recognized what a self-righteous prig I'd started out at. Change can be good. Recognizing a lost cause too.
