How many people would you vouch for?

[Excited Penguin]

This

I can safely tell them anything in confidence

And this
If I needed them, they would do everything in their power to help me

Is what makes me provide an honest answer to the question. There's no such person, nor do I think there could be. I don't think anyone could ever fulfill the last part, that's insane. So either rob gotta change his OP or I think the lot of you are lying when you claim there are people who fit the bill in that way.

... or you have to fall in love, or become a parent.

Or you could just quit trying to think that your experience is the only possible experience, and maybe -- perhaps? -- learn from others?

You're right, that ain't gonna happen. Never mind.

You just had to go ahead and be an asshole, you couldn't control yourself.

The thought of someone you're in love with or being a parent didn't cross my mind at the time, but I agree with it now that you mentioned it. Stop being a fucking dick to me and try and imagine that I can fuck up too.