Has anyone seen my neutral pointer?

[Whateverist]

Okay, tell me ANY of the material properties of a photon.  What's it's mass?  It's volume?  What color is it?  What shape?  What it the mechanism by which it does any of the things it does?

What happens in double-slit experiments with quantum erasers?  What are the material properties of a photon during that process?  Most important-- does it HAVE material properties, other than a wave function and a result when it collapses onto a photographic plate?

Photons have no mass, but they have energy E = hf = hc/λ.

Under the photon theory of light, a photon is defined as a discrete bundle (or quantum) of electromagnetic (or light) energy. Photons are always in motion and, in a vacuum, have a constant speed of light to all observers, at the vacuum speed of light (more commonly just called the speed of light) of c = 2.998 x 108 m/s.

http://physics.about.com/od/lightoptics/f/photon.htm

Photons are energy.  They aren't going to have the same measurables as matter.  But that's what we're talking about: measurement.  It's mass, it's volume, it's color.  These are all measurements.  

But none of those things is neutral.  Apparently we are only to grunt indifferently in the general direction of the boxes and leave it at that.