A loving person

[mlmooney89]

People change and you either fall in love with them all over again or you fall out of love.

How heart breaking... That in your world love is a fleeting thing... And what's more you are ok with that. That is almost as sad as a little kid knowing he is not going to have any Christmas presents because his parents Dont believe in it.

On one hand that is his relaity, but on the other it's sad that he is ok with his diminished childhood.

Yes people do fall out of love, but what if you didn't have to? Would you choose to love someone forever or at least for a life time if you could?

I have this lifetime love and i can tell you nothing could be better.

Love doesn't hafta be forever, it doesn't lessen the love you had for the person at the time in who they were then. I've been married before and we were together from the time I was 16 to 23. The day we got married I was very happy and in love. But at that age you are still finding out what you want in life. He ended up changing his mind about what he wanted. He decided he wanted the military life and to move around the world. I was a military brat that was done with the military and wanted one home and stability. I ended up falling out of love with the new him and we divorced.

But, what if he decided that 'he' was now a 'we' and no longer lived for self but adopted the role Christ had for a husband? what if.. whatever he decided both of you could agree on and come to terms with? would you want to be able to live as a "we" for the rest of your life?

My husband now has gone through huge changes in his personality and I just keep falling more in love with him every day. To compare him now to who he was when we first started dating is like looking at two different people but I have loved both versions of him. Human love isn't unconditional it is based on trust and (despite our lack of faith in god) faith in the person. I have faith that our love is more than any other emotion. At least I can hear my love tell me he loves me back and it's not in my imagination or some old book.

Imagine what you have now and apply it to the first guy, where/when the passion of youth was stronger but the bond of a more secure love/relationship, and now add a man who does not live for self who is not an individual but an extension of yourself.

That is what i say you are missing. you have experienced different strengths of the elements of love at different times in your life, but again what if you could experience what you experienced and what you missed all at once in the same person?

I am my own person and I don't want to be a we in the sense of being the same person or even an extension of each other. I love that while we have similarities we also have our own personalities. I don't want to be married to myself. And as for being a husband Christ wants no thank you. My first husband didn't get to experience the world as a child like I did and I wouldn't want to take that experience from him as an adult simply because I didn't want to move around the world again. He would suffer from me asking that of him regardless of doing Christ's bidding because he wouldn't have been true to himself. On the other hand I would have been miserable to give into living a life I didn't want by never having a home for more than 3 years and never seeing my family. Christ can't make you like a life you aren't made for. He can't say that something as big as two different outlooks on life can be worked with. My ex married his new wife a month before I married my husband and we both congratulated each other in honest affection. I have loved him and I still care for his well being but I have no qualms about not being in love with him anymore simply due to our lives didn't match anymore.

I have embraced the differences my husband now and I have. We have similar likes in a few things but are polar opposites on most things. I learned though that you don't want to put anything before yourself if you want to be happy. I don't mean I wouldn't risk my life for my husbands' or on a smaller scale let him decorate one room of the house so that I can decorate the living room. I mean that my world wouldn't be crushed without him. I was very codependent with my first husband and I thought for a long time that I was nothing without him. That if we broke up I would be destroyed, that I couldn't go on. Hell this crazy thing happened and not only did I survive our divorce but I realized I was stronger than I had ever imagined. I fell back into the same way of thought with my new husband at the start of our dating. That I couldn't lose this man. We broke up once and we had a rocky start but when I finally caught on that no matter what happens I'm going to be okay and it's not the end of the world. I stopped giving in to every fight, I stopped walking on eggshells just to make him happy, I found my own footing that didn't involve him and things settled down. He seemed to respect my new found confidence and I was happier. As long as I am putting who I am and my own mental health first our love life flourishes. Love shouldn't ask you to take part of who you are away it should build it up.