(October 14, 2016 at 4:52 am)robvalue Wrote:(October 14, 2016 at 2:08 am)Emjay Wrote: It's a pity cos I was just getting used to his new behaviour which seemed to have been pretty consistently positive for months and months... I was gradually starting to rebuild a trust of sorts in him. But it was always a possibility to me that it was all an act... but nonetheless practically at least he was getting better to be around, and that alone was enough. So I don't know what to think now.
In my opinion, it's an act. And my opinion is pretty synonymous with fact, given how much I know. I can't tell you what I know or how I know it, all I can say is that if you trust my word, then you should never trust him. Ever. I wouldn't say this unless I was absolutely certain. I'm astounded that he thinks he could explain it away to me. I guess he has no idea how much I know.
I'm not asking to know and I do trust you
But there's never been trust between me and EP, right from the get-go. He's too unpredictable and any interaction with him is like rolling a dice... every single time. He's a complete enigma to me. Whatever co-existance we've had to this point, peaceful or more often otherwise, has not been based on trust but other things. So you don't need to tell me I can't trust him cos I know that already. I just nonetheless have always had a soft spot for him, from the safety of afar mainly, but nothing that could ever have turned into a real, trusting relationship. Just the guilt of having treated him badly when I first met him - saying that I could never trust him among other things - and the constant doubt ever since then of whether I was right to make that call... ie whether he was just 'misunderstood' by me and others. That doubt is still here even with what you say, and always will be I think, but while it is here there can never be trust, even more than there couldn't be before. As I said, like rolling a dice... everything could be either way with him and no way of ever knowing.
