My First AA Meetings

[Aegon]

I'm really happy that you're moving towards recovery. Alcohol was never my problem, stims were (prescription amphetamines, mostly, but I would IV meth when I could get it) I had a complete dependency on them. I couldn't function without them. Any little thing I need to do, I needed speed. I'd go on 2 to 3 day binges with no sleep and little food because I couldn't stand a second of comedown. Haven't touched any of that in a little less than 6 months; before that it had been 3 months. The craving is still there but so many positive things have happened in my life I've been successfully ignoring it.

(Warning: spiritual "mumbo jumbo" ahead)

I think the religious aspect of AA is beneficial for everybody. You just have to realize that your "God" is not theirs. My addiction is what got me interested in Taoism and the lectures of Alan Watts. The idea that you are God because you are everything. Does it matter what made us and why we are here if you are not able to enjoy and experience it? Without you there is no life because if you didn't exist there would be no experience. Your body and mind are the amazing byproduct of billions of years of evolution. Why should you be destroying it with these substances that alienate us so much from our friends and family? Spirituality does not need religious belief.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bX8D0yU0pMc

So the AA meetings that talk about God should never make atheists feel excluded. Atheists should just realize that "God" can mean a plethora of things. For me, "God" is me. "God" is my connection with those around me. "God" is my connection with the world and the universe. And when I needed stims to function, that connection with "God" was severed, and I suffered for it. I'm much happier now. And I hope you are happier as you restore your connection with "God."

And in the spirit of the Tao, trying to force a feeling of euphoria on myself with hard drugs is completely against the natural flow of my existence. How could I truly be living an enjoyable life if I relied on a foreign substance to make me feel whole? I can't. It is impossible to force one's self into that feeling, and I will only experience pushback and only negative things will come of it. And this line of thought helps me stop from going back. Because I'm happier now, knowing that the joy I feel is natural and not a byproduct of my substance abuse. 

I hope that wasn't too much spirituality talk. I know some users here aren't a fan of that sort of talk, and find it too similar to religious belief. But I think it can help those who are struggling like this.