Hello; new girl here

[Rizzo]

Because (once again, barring this whole infinity concept we are speaking of - that EVERYTHING exists 'somewhere') the fact you cannot disprove the Zeus, the Flying Spaghetti monster or Santa Claus doesn't add anything to the likelihood exists.

There is truth to that. It's kinda a contradiction about who I am, really. Or maybe I'm just being forced to be really balanced, I dunno.

See, about ten years ago, I became an atheist. I was going through a really rough spot in my life and asked God for help and got no answer. I learned to be a sceptic about religion but that kinda carried through on many other things. The challenge for any atheists beliefs is "can you prove it?" or "Is there any emperical evidence for it?" You don't believe something just off of a "gut feeling" or because you want it.

However, a couple of years ago, I've had some conflict with that way of thinking and I've realized what gut feelings can have some validity. I don't want to be the girl who always talks about this, but I am transsexual. Early on, that's what transsexuality is: a gut feeling. I have a boys body and if I ask myself for proof that I'm supposed to be a girl, I can't come up with anything. Even now it's something I struggle with and the only good evidence I get is how much better my personality is when I'm on my estrogen pills. Before I started on that, I ask myself to "prove" that I'm a girl and I couldn't do it. But... I still had that feeling.

So, on one hand, my religious beliefs are based on scepticism and a demand for emperical evidence. However, with the direction I've taken in the discovery of my own identity, I've been forced to balance that by paying attention to those gut feelings.

And maybe it's just hopeful thinking. Part of the reason I believe in supernatural (even though, granted, I don't have proof) is because I want to believe there's more. This world and my life (now) is wonderful and it hurts to think that in a few decades it will be over and nothing will be left of me. I want to believe there's some kind of after life, even though I don't have any proof of it.

I understand that you could want to believe this things...but wanting to believe them doesn't make it more likely of course....and...

...and what I'm wondering is - if you WANT to believe something I would have thought that would imply that you don't believe it - I mean you don't go around desiring things you already have, you desire things you don't have. So how could you WANT to believe if you already do?

You're probably right. Gun to my head, no, I don't believe in those things. I still want them to be true, though. Kinda like winning the lotto: I want it, but I don't expect it to happen.

Unless it's like fear of losing? You want to carry on believing what belief you still have perhaps...? You wouldn't want to lose a positive belief - you want to believe that what you do believe (however vaguely) is indeed, true?

I think you're on to something there. I think there is some fear of losing, but it's not about losing my beliefs. I fear losing.... everything.

I know I'm still fairly young at 30 (even though my 26 year old roommate never hesitates to call me an old lady) but I realize that someday.... I will die. I don't want that! I love this world and I love my life and the idea of losing all that really upsets me! In fact, I feel like I've only recently started really living my life instead of just enduring it and, therefore, I have to make up for lost time. The idea of an afterlife, I guess I just don't want everything to end for me.

While I think that it could be argued that the theist Gods such as the 3 abrahamic ones are more absurd and have a lot more added to them to a desit God, along with all the intervening makes the theist God a lot more improbable...I still think a deist creator of the universe would be complex and improbable certainly... - and I certainly know of no evidence of a deist God either anyway.

True. The Bible and Koran both help atheists because it gives us reasons to disbelieve. I can't prove a deist god doesn't exist but I can prove the Bible wrong. If I were in a society bathed in the Koran, I could probably prove it was wrong, too.

As you said, a deist God is much more likely to exist but, because of the nature of said god, it's kinda impossible to prove one way or the other. Either way, a deist god doesn't care what we think of it so I don't plan on spending too much time or energy trying to worship it.

Actually, even there, I could believe in an all powerful God who created the universe and the laws of physics that govern it and simply left it to itself. However, if such a God did exist, does it really matter that he does? It would obviously not be a God that wants us to worship him or to write laws based on his holy book let alone kill people in his name.

Indeed in practical terms I know of no real difference....it's just that in principle if we are living in a universe designed by a God then what would it be like if the universe WASN'T created...? Would it be MORE chaotic?! If this universe hypothetically speaking is a universe with a God in it.

And if (as I believe we are of course) living in a universe without a God then what would the universe be like if it was designed? Different I think - less of a mess if the God was 'Good' and not lazy I would think!

But that's in principle. In practice, in practical terms - it makes no real difference to our life whether it was set up by a "God" and then left alone entirely without any intervening whatsoever than if there simply isn't; and never was, a God.

And finally, I know of no evidence of a deist God.

If you don't particularly have a problem believing in a deist God then is it possible you could, at least potentially be a borderline deist? Maybe? Seen as you are not sure.

Or are you still more likely to be an atheist on that matter too - although you don't rule deism out?

Sorry if I'm vague. Or too vague at some points and much more specific at others! My writing style seems to change up a lot over the months, the weeks - even the days at times.

EvF

Nah, I'm still an atheist. I want to believe in something else and I'll look for something to believe in, but when I find what other, more religious people call evidence, I can't find any solid evidence to support it.

I've heard some atheists who don't believe in a God and instead of looking for something to believe in, they look for reasons NOT to believe. Like I said, I want to believe and I will look for something to believe in, but I need some amount of proof. So far, no religion has been able to do that. The best I've found is in religions that are intentionally vague.