(June 29, 2011 at 1:51 pm)Rhythm Wrote: Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth.
So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard.
But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance -
The husband's obligations, as defined in this verse, are to help them providing financial support to his wife, as well as using his natural superiorities, such as strength, in the context of being the wife's guardian and protector. The 'obedience' of the woman being referred to in this verse is that of protecting the property of the husband, his honor, and guarding the secrets, which are natural corollaries to the obligations of the husband according to the Quran.
(June 29, 2011 at 1:51 pm)Rhythm Wrote: [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand.
The man is told to advice first, meaning rationally discuss, and if this doesn't work, he can detach himself emotionally and physically (i.e. the last two options). Hence the "striking" is mentioned, which is there only as a permission, but he doesn't have to strike her. Discussing with her is the most important because it is mentioned before anything else.
To many of the macho and arrogant Arabs it was unheard of to discuss with their wives. They viewed them as inferior and trying to engage in a discussion would be a psychological blow to their ego, yet they are being commanded to do so in the Quran. If a husband tries to use this verse to mistreat his wife, then he is committing a sin and abusing his position as a husband in every measure, and he will find no support from the text or from the force of law, as the same verse (4:34) says that he is the guardian and protector, not an enforcer of his own desires.
