(June 30, 2011 at 11:07 pm)Shell B Wrote: I always felt uncomfortable about the torment he pretty much personally damned me to in his mind. Even if he believed it, I always found it rude that he say it and he was only my brother-in-law. I can't imagine what having a parent like that would be like. They always insist that love drives them to say these things. I wonder if they think that is true or if they know they are being dicks.
It's such a mind fuck for those of us who have to deal with it for the rest of our lives. On one had - you have your own personal freedom and an attitude that says "fuck you - you rude asshole, I'm happy and free." Than you have your childhood memories of a parent you loved, and who you felt loved you. Than you have your resentment of all the things you missed out on, the lies you were told, and all the many more things that you are currently missing out on as an adult. Than top that all off with something that never goes away ... love of your old man ... and not wanting to hurt him even though he has betrayed you time and time again.
The majority of the time, I'm fine. But once in a rare while, usually once every few years, I lose my place and I can't separate all of the aforementioned in my head ... and I get lost for a few days. Many of the people on this forum are a great reminder that I am not alone, and admittedly, it is very comforting to know that many of you whom I will never know in real life, offer up empathy for my situation. Proof positive that no god is needed to feel the warmth and good nature in the hearts of those who would even be complete strangers.
![[Image: Evolution.png]](https://images.weserv.nl/?url=i1118.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fk619%2Fjcincain%2FPublic%2FEvolution.png)
