Fr0d0, you said:
"There is specific instruction there that a valid last resort is physical violence - where physical violence is abhorrent."
You are right, in saying that physical violence is abhorrent, however, the "violence" is actually a physical contact which is not supposed to bruise or severely injure the wife (kind of like a parent hitting a child). Why? Because the Arabic word is "wadribuhunna," from the root word "darb," which has many meanings which include to "hit or strike lightly." Scholars have also placed limits on what form of "hitting" is allowed such as only using the hand and not striking the face or any of the delicate parts of the body.
Also, notice that the Quran did not recommend divorce here. One has to understand that human beings and their opinions and feelings always change and evolve as time goes on. If one was to take the shortcut of a divorce, it is a life-altering event, for the husband, wife, and children. To save everyone from such a thing happening, Islam allows the husband to make the strongest possible statement which is intended more as a psychological tool than a physical one.
Once again, this is a permission, meaning he does not have to do this, but is merely allowed if circumstances warrant. This is not to be done whenever a husband feels like it. I would never want to do this to my wife either.
@ Min and Rhythm,
There is no provision in the Quran that allows a wife to strike her husband, but it doesn't say "don't do this" either, so I think this is allowed in certain situations although it is not encouraged. But, most importantly, what is clear is that both the husband and wife are told to treat each other with respect and kindness and to be patient with each other in several verses in the Quran. There are more verses on telling men to be at good conduct with their wives than vice versa. For example: "Live with them (women) on a footing of kindness and equity" (Surah 4:19).
Here are more such verses: Muslim Women in the Quran and Sunnah
"There is specific instruction there that a valid last resort is physical violence - where physical violence is abhorrent."
You are right, in saying that physical violence is abhorrent, however, the "violence" is actually a physical contact which is not supposed to bruise or severely injure the wife (kind of like a parent hitting a child). Why? Because the Arabic word is "wadribuhunna," from the root word "darb," which has many meanings which include to "hit or strike lightly." Scholars have also placed limits on what form of "hitting" is allowed such as only using the hand and not striking the face or any of the delicate parts of the body.
Also, notice that the Quran did not recommend divorce here. One has to understand that human beings and their opinions and feelings always change and evolve as time goes on. If one was to take the shortcut of a divorce, it is a life-altering event, for the husband, wife, and children. To save everyone from such a thing happening, Islam allows the husband to make the strongest possible statement which is intended more as a psychological tool than a physical one.
Once again, this is a permission, meaning he does not have to do this, but is merely allowed if circumstances warrant. This is not to be done whenever a husband feels like it. I would never want to do this to my wife either.
@ Min and Rhythm,
There is no provision in the Quran that allows a wife to strike her husband, but it doesn't say "don't do this" either, so I think this is allowed in certain situations although it is not encouraged. But, most importantly, what is clear is that both the husband and wife are told to treat each other with respect and kindness and to be patient with each other in several verses in the Quran. There are more verses on telling men to be at good conduct with their wives than vice versa. For example: "Live with them (women) on a footing of kindness and equity" (Surah 4:19).
Here are more such verses: Muslim Women in the Quran and Sunnah
