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The reason why the Quran only speaks on the men's role in striking a wife because it was the women that were normally on the receiving end, not the men.
In early times, men were seeking ways against woman in marriage prior to Islam including the maltreatment of them. That's why the Quran is only addressing the male context of abuse, especially in regards to women that did not need to be addressed, and also tells the men not to pull the trigger too quickly as it says, "[first] advise them," and if they persist, then "forsake them in bed" for a period of time, and if they still persist, only then you may "hit or strike lightly" (in a disciplinary manner). Then the Quran says, "But if they obey you, do not seek a way against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand" (Surah 4:34). So, this is a warning to the men to be careful in not abusing their powers because they are the ones who used to perpetrate the action most of the time, not the women. That's why the Quran is limiting only the husband's role by setting up such a valid course of action as mentioned in the verse above.
Why is it that the word of Allah doesn't completely condemn the violence? Why is the holy word of an omnipotent being so flawed?
Even if the open windows of science at first make us shiver after the cozy indoor warmth of traditional humanizing myths, in the end the fresh air brings vigor, and the great spaces have a splendor of their own - Bertrand Russell