RE: The Case Against Compatabilism
May 19, 2017 at 11:02 am
(This post was last modified: May 19, 2017 at 11:03 am by Edwardo Piet.)
(May 18, 2017 at 10:20 pm)Succubus Wrote: Two metaphysical libertarians, a hard incompatabilist and a bowl of petunias walk into a bar, and the barman says; err... I'll get back later.
They all walk into a gay bar.
The barman asks "Did you HAVE to walk into my bar or could you have done otherwise?"
The metaphysical libertarian says "Of course! I just use my magical walking bowl of petunias!"
The hard incompatabilist and the compatabilist simultaneously respond "That's retarded!"...
...to which the compatabilist adds "You can do otherwise without needing magic"...
"Yeah... if you call "the universe could have made me do something else!" being able to do otherwise." says the hard incompatabilist
"Shut the fuck up I'm trying to be diplomaticl!" responds the compatabilist,
"And you think it's cool and trendy too.... Yuck. Fucking hipsters everywhere." responds the hard incompatabililist.
"What about you magical walking bowl of petunias? Could you have done otherwise?" asks the barman.
"Well, I may be magical.... but I only came here because the metaphysical libertarian brought me.... and even if I could walk here of my own accord I wouldn't bother because what's the point? There's no free will so why bother doing anything even if I am a magical walking bowl of petunias."
"OH NO NOT A GODDAMN FATALIST" shouts everyone in the bar.
"Lets kill him and use him for perfume!" says the hard incompatablist.
"Great idea! I would never have brought this magical walking bowl of petunias if I'd known it were a fatalist." says the metaphysical libertarian.
"Hell, I'm just a laymen and even I think that's a good idea." says the barman.
"What about you, Compatabilist? After we're done brutally murdering this bowl of petunias... would you like a sample of the perfume?" asks the hard incompatabilist.
"Nah. I don't wanna use perfume made from flowers because all my friends will think I'm a dork for smelling like flowers. I don't want my friends thinking I'm a faggot. Besides, I only came here to troll you guys with my redefinitions! And it totally worked! Ahahahaha!"
So the hard incompatabilist, the metaphysical libertarian, the magical walking bowl of petunias and the barman all happily beat the compatabilist troll to death and they all live happily ever after for ever and ever having many fantastic bar orgies without his homophobic ass. The end.
.... yeah I'm not good at jokes.
