A web.

[TheSaddestOfSouls]

Or maybe it's the fact your an incoherent rambling no nothing . Who seems to like to fap to your own sense of Deepness

Maybe, i guess. Why not? I really did experience a ton of brain trauma and you can be a dick all you want.

Small minds, big egos and little pricks? They all seem to act the same anyways but you do the math and i'm recovering for about a year now still. Really to even any reason i'm alive today though considering that amount of complex seizures i lived through, no idea how that's even possible looking at people who do die from one seizure, ever but than still in this process of wishing i was dead for three years straight and accepting it, even today as whatever with what i tried to understand and really anybody could and they have actually. I had to come to a reasonable conclusion that this medicine these doctors were giving me was killing me based on the FDA's website of known symptoms that can occur from medication i was taking at the time.

Seriously, they could of done this 15+ doctors in through that madness i was experiencing but then instead of actually helping they actually gave up on me. Threw me to the streets saying it was something that didn't even make sense. I have insurance and shit, what do you do? I don't want to do this anymore. I'm done trying to help assholes but i'm here still as much as i love that.

Great times guys and what i'm trying to say with this is i've always understood that people don't try, that these systems also don't work. That was never my fault. These are systems that you live in. I don't care were you live on this Earth, you are part of some kind of stupid system, more than one.

For instance, what do you think when i tell you your education was mostly a lie? Not just yours though, i have a friend in Italy for example. Very intelligent woman and in discussing these things with her. She wasn't excluded from any of this, funny as that is. That does say a lot? To me it did. Do you shrug that off? What do you say to yourself at any of this? This is very important to understand any of this because if you are that blissfully ignorant to life around you. Only you can help yourself ever, theirs is this group, they wear this outfit and think they might have some super special koolade. It might help you more than anything you ever thought of it seems.

Then If you never tried to actually see what is at all past your systems of lies in whatever you believe than don't say anything ever questioning anything i ever said. The guy trying to breach his bible has more worth than you do ever in any conversation on your supposed belief of atheism aka nothing or even on faith aka nothing. He probably at least read his book and didn't rely on who exactly? If you question things to educate yourself, kudos.

If you didn't ever look at anything, ever. Which most of you didn't it does seem. There is plenty of evidence poking holes in theories all over the place and then in just Darwinism? Then what the theory relativity, that really, who knows if was ever done in a test in the first place because it's never been duplicated. It is pretty hilarious. Instead of being a dick, go read something.

I had to back off this for a second because i was getting annoyed but no. A truth based on truth even if you or anybody never tried to see or believe it as the truth was always still the truth. Never mattered what you thought, ever.

I hate jumbling my words and even trying to explain this to anybody because it's horribly hard for me and impossible it does seem. Never was fun. Even if my social skills were spot on, it wouldn't matter. This is a very complex but very important thing i'm trying to explain.

Looking at this group, with your thoughts on belief though, i'm not hating and i didn't consider this going in but compared to this crazy fucking belief system that existed before i did and you and even your defined belief of nothing as it is. Atheism is just inverted spirituality, really. If you wanted to actually try and compare it.

Then look were you live. Look at Earth, even if you believe global warming and shit. So many different animals are extinct now. Plants and trees. Then look at all this lovely functioning chaos that everybody seriously thrives in. This doesn't change if your stupid and can't see it because you don't read the news or even pay attention at all around you.

Then there is the ridiculousness of the puppets in politics. There is really so much to see and understand. I can't change what is. Even with you and your apparent cognitive dissonance it seems. I can try if you want.

You can be a cock though, that's great. I'm very used to that attitude.

I was thinking about this. Stepped back for a minute and did some work and then came back.

You guys are annoying really so consider this.

You are essentially at the end of a system. Time being linear and from the beginning to the end. There is so much data just all over the place to pull up and read and try to comprehend but it's all there. For instance guys. My dumbass brother. This was interestingly hard for him because he was holding onto some stupid ass fucking test he did in third grade. For one, where did this test come from and who showed you this to begin with. Even still, he wouldn't tell me what it was. It doesn't matter, this is what he was hung up on and that was never rational or logical considering his age and what can be known.

It's 2017? When did anybody research their beliefs last, really? That was the point i made to him and it had been a very long time.

but then really, even before that, why isn't a lie significant anymore to most people? I hate being lied to.

Really, try to understand with any of this that i was mostly where you are in understanding any of this and i progressed through every fucking belief, skipping religion as a thing mostly but i was mediating and i accepted god for awhile. If you never tried to understand that even in mediation though. That's a natural process and you can go to dimensions with your third eye chakra which is linked to your pineal gland. Interesting to see that gland compared to the reasons why it doesn't really work these days but you can do anything you can think of really in this dimensional place. It's better than TV. Interesting thing to question, really why isn't that told to you or taught? Even also it's practiced, it's very relaxing and also stress relieving.

I fail to understand people but whatever you thought mediation was ever, it can be bad, of course. Do it properly actually helps people. My neighbor thought mediation was koolade cliff jumping crazy cult people had. Really though, no. It's actually very natural thing. Nobody can change what it is.

I do see and understand the importance of what i understand but i also understand why and how it so very hard for others. Also a reason i am here also, trying to learn how really. I keep finding more conflict rather than any kind of understanding though. Funny as that is to me.