(June 28, 2017 at 1:32 pm)drfuzzy Wrote:(June 27, 2017 at 6:13 pm)Godscreated Wrote: Politeness is not a societal rule it's just good ol' manners to treat people with respect and others need to learn that we in the south are raised to respect others. I always hold the door open for ladies even when they say that I shouldn't treat them that way, yeah I've had that said to me, some perceived societal rules just suck.
GC
I have run into two different mindsets on the holding door action. Obviously, women are quite capable of opening doors by themselves. Holding a door open for anyone with arms full, or hanging on to young ones, is simple kindness on the part of anyone of any gender. Some guys just hold doors open, you can tell they've just been trained to do so, I always thank them. Then there are the OTHER guys. The ones who see a pretty woman approaching from yards away, and he chooses the door that HE decides she will enter. I was with a friend only a week or so ago, there were (6?) possible doors. He grabs one, stares at her as she walks for (over a minute) to get to his location. He makes a mock bow with a cheesy smirk as she enters. She did NOT thank him. He followed her into the store, and snarled "You're WELCOME, BITCH!" Kathleen is a formidable Irish female. She turned around and said, very quietly, "I did not ask you to hold that door. I did not need for you to hold that door. In retrospect, I clearly should have chosen another door. You did that for your own personal gratification, so there is no need for me to thank you." He wasn't doing it out of kindness or consideration, it was an cry for attention and an attempt to control. We need to take this holding doors and chairs and all of that nonsense out of expected MALE behaviors and just make helping everyone the norm.
If there is a family following me into a building or even another male I will hold the door open for them, i was taught to be helpful and kind from childhood and 99% of the time I receive a thank you. When someone does the same for me they always receive a thank you, thanking people for their honest efforts of help is another polite thing I was taught and I've found it quite nice to give and receive.
Yeah there are all kinds even in the south but, things here have gotten worse since the jobs crashed in the north and people from the north started retiring here. I've lived here all my life and have seen the change and I and many southerners do not care for the way things have become but they are what they are and I live with them and do the best to be the southern boy I was raised to be. I really do not care if people thinks what I do is quaint, cheesy, attention grabbing or whatever I do it because I enjoy helping others. You see we were taught that not only were things like opening doors for others was polite but it was also enjoyable, we were taught if you don't have a little time for others what kind of life do you think you will have. It's part of living as a southerner.
GC
God loves those who believe and those who do not and the same goes for me, you have no choice in this matter. That puts the matter of total free will to rest.
