Believe:

[Giff]

In that light, the fact that god personally makes sense to me is a good reason... to me. I believe in two ideas of god. There is (to only me) undeniable evidence and proof that there are forces much larger than I at play here. That is the universal god, yes. I don't know too much for sure about it, and I don't tell myself I know things about it that I do not. Oh yeah, and by it I mean 'they' because I cannot support monotheism. Then there is my depiction of god that is very personal and does exist only in my head. She is my best attempt to relate to the one true god (to use an old term), but is admittedly an imperfect effigy. Much like my distorted personal reality, as mimicry or misunderstanding of the most real reality we all share. So god exists, and an imaginary friend I happen to have named god and representing the real god also exists. One in truth, and one only true in my own head. That is the longest way of saying 'yes and no'

Sounds more like you wish that it was that way. Since you can't proof it, is your ideas just imagination. Assumptions without any ground to stand on. You don't know that there is something larget at play. It just what you hope and wish for, because it fits your own idea how it must be. It's not a theoritical idea or how it could be, just a dream and how you wish that there is a God. That is to me more like something that is idea for you that make you feel safe. An idea for you without a God make you feel unsafe. It what it seems like.

My assumption of reason is not based on whether or not I want there to be reason. I tried for a long, long time to look at the world free of what I wanted to see, or what I wanted it to be. I think there has to be reason because all of this (being alive, and all the other life around me) would be far to complex, careful and extravagant to just so have happened. There being no reason for life is a terrible reason for life. I don't want there to be intent or meaning, I just am pretty sure there is.

Also like above does this show that you wish and hope more then thinking reasonible. You wish there is some meaning of life, just something you hope. But nothing more then a happy daydream.