Unconditional Love

[Brian37]

You first have to be able to understand love, I don't.

You can understand the number "1" as word, but also understand that that word can apply to a multitude of things. Like "1" apple, "1" car, "1" year.

"Love" is also word that can mean different things to different people in different contexts.

"I love ABBA"

Does not mean the same thing as 

"I love my Mom"

Does not mean the same thing as,

"I love well done steaks".

Some humans in say dating and marriage have a very unhealthy attitude about what they think "love is". 

I confused for a long time as a teen that any show of attention by a female meant "love" in reality it was simply my hormones. Others think displaying jealousy and controlling their love interest is "love" when really it is emotional abuse. 

I wouldn't put it like this.

I would say that individual relationships can be complex, and that some individuals be it dating, marriage, or parent child can have closer bonds and connections and some don't and certainly because our species is diverse, in that context you cant always explain why a relationship does or does not work. 

I would say the more healthy ones that last longer involve good communication skills where the "love" is not based on control or dominance but problem solving and working together. 

My Mom and I were a perfect example. Our relationship when I was a kid was not as healthy as it became in her later years. In retrospect I know she always loved me deeply, but back then neither of us had any lick of clinical psychology childhood development understanding. She was of the WW2 era where boys don't cry and "just do it", and I was sensitive so that mix did cause us to butt heads. But as an adult I grew to accept myself and eventually she did as well.

Some would have looked at us and said, "They are such a miss match" and we were, but it worked, and I would say the biggest reason was that we never held grudges and we never stayed angry at each other. 

But in dating and marriage no, you cannot always explain why a specific couple works, or why they are attracted to each other. But even with all that complexity it still amounts to evolution.

"Love" in the family/relationship dynamic is simply a result of our evolutionary tendency to form groups and socialize and that fosters empathy for others.