I really don't know. Maybe a bit awkward? I don't even know. You've got lots of threads started today (?). One of them, over in A69, very straightforward. But whatever cocoon you have, if you do have one, you are trying to break out of, and I commend it.
"For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring." - Carl Sagan